California for Stefani

I am thinking about doing a series of blogs about friends. I think that not enough time is spent on encouraging each other and maybe if I do a series of encouraging blogs, that will help a person appreciate each other a bit more. Our lives get so busy with stuff that we forget about the people around us. I find people focus on each others negative qualities and not always the positive ones. I think as adults we are quite aware of who we are and don’t need constant reminders of what we do wrong. Lets focus on what we do right and encourage those things in each other.

What I plan to do is write a blog on each friend and describe how I know them and what they mean to both of us. Might turn out interesting and I won’t tell any family secrets LOL.

My friend Shauna posted this on her facebook status and that got me thinking about my next blog post.  The term “way” is what got me thinking. 

God created us and he loves us unconditionally.   If that is the case, then why do we think that God is “way” to good to us?   Our original creation was for communing with God on earth.  Other than the silly sin that makes this life rough, we are still around for that very reason.  We are friends with God and a part of friendship is giving to each other.  Considering that God has special abilities (he can perform miracles, etc), then why wouldn’t he use those abilities for his children?

I am very grateful for how good he is to us, but “way” to good?  Not to sure about that.  I guess there are many people who believe that they aren’t good enough for God, so maybe that is where that thinking comes from.  I guess my belief is that God is “perfectly” good to me.  He loves me no matter what I do and he forgives us when ever we ask, so why wouldn’t he be good to us?   I don’t think it’s about deserving the goodness in our lives, that is not what I am saying, but if God loves us as much as he says he does, why wouldn’t he be good to us.  Would be kinda stupid to say, “i love you” and then pummel us with disasters all the time. 

We were created by God and he loves us so very  much no matter what stupid things we do.  I think that love is what allows him to do good things for us.  Yes, life throws us curve balls at times, but that isn’t God, that is living on this sinful earth.   Obviously this is my opinion, and I am sure people will differ.  This is just the way I think. 

So the above is my thought for the day.  It’s the beginning of the week and every day it gets closer to our holidays in September.   Our weekend went well and we got to see a bunch of Christian bands at a day long concert.  It did rain a lot, so we didn’t stay right until the end, but we still had a lot of fun (it was an outdoor concert).  We got to spend time with my parents who also enjoyed it.  Gotta love parents who still will go to those kind of things even though it is geared for teenagers.  My parents have always been very supportive in that area.  They took us to Petra concerts and White Heart concerts… gotta love them for that.  Not many parents encourage their kids to listen to hard rock like that.  Even though they weren’t a huge fan of it, they still supported us in it.  Yup, I think my parents are a keeper LOL.

The ocean beach living has been GREAT.  I love living here and I hope we can stay here for awhile.  We are currently the resident managers of our condo complex, so that has been interesting too.  Our car has had a few additions too it and so for now, I think the car will be happy with all it’s little upgrades until we get new tires.

It may not be California, but we are living in the next best place (in Canada).  Yup, God is good to us (just a perfect amount LOL)

"Because real body life isn't built on accountability. It's built on love. We're to encourage each other in the journey without conforming people to the standard we think they need."

The above is a quote from the book I just finished reading. 

We went to Manning Park this weekend and there is no internet up there.  Unless you like fishing or hiking, there isn’t a lot for me to do, so I did some reading.  Doug read this book awhile ago and has been asking me to read it.  He put it on the netbook and so I sat outside reading the book on my netbook.  We had a GREAT time visiting with my family and even though I suffered without the internet, it was still worth going.   We enjoy just sitting and chatting with my parents.  My sister and her family came up too, so that is always a great way to know them better too.   My sister always brings some kind of craft along, so we got to do some crafty things.  She made a Mickey Mouse bean head… very cute and it might land up being my Christmas present.  There is a swimming pool there, so we got to do some swimming too.  Doug caught a few fish and my dad fried that up and they ate fish fried in butter.

So back to the book.  It’s a book about why so many people don’t like the “institution” of church.  It makes total sense and if you are one that is trying to figure your way through what church looks like, you might want to pick this book up (or download off the authors website for free).   It helps one look at what we are being taught and why so many people get burnt out in church. 

I agree with the above statement and have tried to live that life as best as I can.  I think we lack the ability to encourage but excel in the ability to criticise.  Instead of telling someone what you think they are doing wrong, how about you tell them what they are doing right.  I figure that God can tell them what they are doing wrong.  Why should we be the ones that do stuff like that.  We all have a journey in our walk of faith, and I think it looks different for every person.   Maybe it’s why I have no issues with gay people being a Christian or that other “religions” could also be Christians.  Who am I to judge the journey of ones walk in their faith.   It’s all about loving each other and that is the main focus of what Jesus talked about when he walked this earth. 

The book focus’s on ones journey with Jesus.  Not the church, not the elders, not with being accountable to each other, but our accountability to Jesus and him alone.  If we are following the path of what Jesus wants, don’t you think things will fall into place?  Sure life throws us curve balls, but it’s our walk with Jesus that matters.  How do we love others?  Criticising in “love” is not love.  Encouraging is love.  Accepting each other is love.  Not judging the actions of others is love. 

I have no desire to conform others to my way of thinking anymore because it just isn’t worth it.  People will figure it out in their own time and then someday they will come to me and we can go for coffee and discuss it.  I will walk the journey with Jesus next to me.  I will take comfort that he is encouraging me and helping me learn along the way.  I will learn to encourage more whenever I can. 

The book doesn’t say church is wrong, but it says many of what goes on in church is.  I totally agree and obviously I am not the only one that has issues with the institute of church.  It’s about community and loving each other where ever we are at.  Sure a church can be healthy but usually it doesn’t stay that way.  How many times have we been guilted into going to church?  How is that godly?  There is so many other examples that I can come up with that I have come across in our dealings with church, but what is the point in dwelling on it.  It’s the past and I want no part of those things in my past.  I want to work on my friendship with Jesus and I want to see how that looks in my future. 

The sales of this book just shows that there are many out there that are having troubles with church and are searching.  Your search will end when you seek that relationship with Jesus.  Enjoying time with others talking about the love of Jesus and what he has done in our lives.  It can look like a barbeque with neighbours, with family and friends.  It can look like a quiet time with a friend at a coffee shop just talking.  It can look like sitting at Manning Park enjoying the smell of the trees and the company of friends (also known as my parents).  Those are all examples of the church that Jesus meant for us.  It doesn’t have to be structured, have an outline or have a purpose other than being together, to encourage each other and to relate how wonderful Jesus has been to us.  Sure a meeting is ok every so often, but why all the time… why can’t we be casual and just visit and have no agenda?   That sounds like heaven to me ;)

It's not about teaching, it's about living. Learn to live this life and you'll find no end of folks to share it with. Teach it first, however, and that will be your substitute for living it

Another quote from the book (above in bold).  I totally love this.  I have lived this concept all my life… it’s about living it and not trying to teach it.  So I will keep on living my life with Jesus walking side by side (or he carries me every so often) and I will learn from  his love and give that love back to others.  I need to keep my eyes on Jesus and what he has to teach me.  Only through him will I manage and only through him can I be someone who can love others for who they are.

To end this blog, I want to say this book didn’t have much new that I learned, but it put words to my thoughts in my head.  It makes a lot of sense and makes me feel secure in the fact that I am not a bad Christian.  I am loved by Jesus and that is all that matters.  If I am walking the walk with him, who care what others think. 

The title of my post is how we both are feeling these days. It's an attitude thing and we both have to figure out how to get over it. It's a matter of changing our mindset and focusing on everything that is good and not thinking about what is missing.

We would have moved to Mexico 6 months ago and I guess we are feeling the loss a lot these days. Not too sure why, but we both feel down. I think we are feeling like that we are just going through the motions of life right now and not doing anything different. That's not a bad thing, but it's just not what we were expecting to be doing at this point. We are both on the verge of tears all the time... which totally bites and is kinda annoying. We have it good and we shouldn't be complaining, and honestly, we aren't complaining, just feeling down.

We are also missing Louie... he was put down a year ago and I think we just miss having a pet around the house, but have no desire to have another one who only lives 10 - 12 years and have to put down again because they are sick. We just got too attached to Louie I guess. He would have loved our Mustang and driving in it with the top down. He would also have loved living so close to the beach... he was a beach dog through and through.

We have it good, and anyone who looks at our life from the outside would say so. We live on the beach, we have our dream car, we both have good jobs and we have a vacation planned in under 50 days. Who wouldn't want to live our life... we sure are enjoying it. But it's that feeling that sits in our soul... that feeling of utter sadness of what we could have been doing. As Doug said this morning... we have too many holes in our heart right now. Gotta figure out how to patch those holes up... anyone got some polly filler? HA HA HA!!!

I know that with time it will get easier and only God can truly help us fill those holes, even if it means healing them but not giving us something else to replace what we lost. We have to focus on all that is good in our lives, and for the most part we do. Not sure where we would be if we didn't have faith in God... in our belief that we are safe in his hands. Even in our sadness, he loves us and cry's with us when we cry. He never promised sunshine and roses every day, but promised his love and devotion to us. Life throws us curve balls and we have to live with that. It's how we manage with those curve balls that is important and if you focus on what is good and not what is bad, then we should manage ok. Only God can help us focus properly and settle our soul.

So things are ok in our lives. We applied for a caretaking job in our building, but probably won't get it. They are wanting to pay someone $500/month for being on call 24/7... hmmm... that seems a little ridiculous, but I guess if they can find someone to do that, more power to them. Can't imagine things will be run to well in our building then, but heck, we are only renters, so what do we care ;) We leave on a vacation on September 14th... spending a few days in DisneyWorld, then a 7 night Caribbean cruise and then 4 nights in Florida checking out the sites. Should be fun to get away and see part of this amazing world.

We are meeting up with a bunch of people on the cruise that we met online... sure wish some of them lived closer because I think we would be good friends with a few of them. Why do the friends who like us not live closer? All our "so called friends" who live close don't want to do anything with us, so too me that seems like a one way friendship. I guess to me it's important to visit and commune with friends, not just say we will visit and phone us, but never do. I guess I expect too much out of people, which is why we live our own little lives at the beach.

Doug and I will survive... we will get over this bit of sadness and be bright, shiny people again soon. We will keep having faith in God/Jesus (yes I put them as 2 not as 1) and believe that he will keep us safe. He will repair those holes and we will go where he sees fit to send us. If it's here in White Rock for a long long time, that is fine by me, but if he sends us to California, I am more than happy with that too ;) I think God wants us happy and sometimes it doesn't matter where we are because he will make things work where ever we are. I need to be happy with routine and the normal things in life right now because we aren't in Mexico, we are in White Rock... no sense in dwelling on things that aren't to be (tell that to my soul, it needs to be reminded). If nothing else, we will sit in our car, be hugged by our Mustang seats and drive around the world (with the convertible top down) until our hearts are repaired ;)

Yes, I babble... it's who I am LOL

Figured I would do a fun blog post about me. Maybe y’all want to know a little more about who I am.

I was born in 1970 on May 29. I am the oldest child in our family. I have 2 younger sisters and 2 foster siblings (1 foster brother and 1 foster sister). I grew up in Agassiz on a mountain with no neighbours. We had a beautiful A-frame house that every one loved. We had a great view of the river and the Fraser Valley. If someone was camping on one of the islands on the river, we could even talk with them. We had some good conversations with strangers HA HA HA. We lived on the mountain side, which made for great hiking and some great caves. It was too bad that I preferred to be inside watching TV or reading a book.

Living on a mountain is a lot of work (just ask my parents) and I was very happy to move into civilization when I was 16. I also was able to go to a different school that was a lot nicer than the one I had grown up in. I met Doug when I was 16, got engaged at 17 and was married at 18 on July 2nd, 1988. Marriage at that young of an age brings a lot of unique issues, but we managed and we have been married 22 years now.

So who am I? I love reading, always have. When I finally learned to read English (yes, I am an ESL… German is my first language) I could not be dragged out of the library. I think I read every book that I could get my hands on. Then when my parents were offered a TV, I fell in love with that beautiful entertainment box. I watched Brady Bunch, Gilligan's Island, MASH, Wonderful World of Disney, FAME and a number of other shows growing up. I am very shy, but am learning to come out of my shell a little more as I get older. I think that comes from not knowing English when going to Kindergarten and also being bullied most of my school life.

My favourite colour is Blue and I have no favourite number. I LOVE to travel and I think I have had that desire for as long as I can remember. I am not into camping though, but I will survive it if I have to. I need flush toilets for any traveling that I do. I prefer no bugs and I am not adventurous with food. I only eat Beef, Pork and Chicken (some Turkey) as a meat and will try various fish’s, but not that much into seafood. I hate banana’s and not really that much into Chocolate. I also don’t like blackberries but that is because we had to pick them as a kid and I got sick of them. I am also a fan of white bread… I believe the slogan that WonderBread has… “part of a complete childhood”… it’s why I think my childhood was not complete… no Wonder Bread, only icky Rye bread for my lunches… ewwww, ewwwww, ewwwwww!!! Since becoming type 2 Diabetic, I am very grateful for Cob’s bread and their high fibre white bread… they are my heros LOL. I love computers and most technology. I have been using the internet since about 1995 and been using a computer for at least 10 years before that. I also love Disney and if you see my house, you will figure that out pretty quickly.

I am an Introverted person and have been all my life. I don’t handle large crowds well in small spaces. I do love people though and love being surrounded by them. I think that comes from growing up on a mountain with no neighbours. I think that is why I LOVE living in the city now. I love throwing parties, but get very tired at the end of it. I am a great Mennonite who likes to cook and have people over for food. Yes, I am of Mennonite heritage and that is why every gathering that I attend needs to have food around it HA HA HA. Guess that is why I am not skinny. I love numbers, which is why I am a bookkeeper. I took Algebra in school just for the fun of it. I am not an artistry type person and don’t apologize for it either. I love music though, but only to listen to it. Granted I can play piano and if I put my mind to it, can probably be pretty good at it, but it doesn’t come natural and I have to work to hard at it to be good… yup, I am relaxed that way… if it takes too much work, I would prefer to not do it. Numbers come natural, so that is why I picked a profession that comes easy to me.

I don’t dream big, but I try to dream with attainable dreams. I don’t like to be let down, so I think that is why I do it that way. Less disappointment then. I am not competitive and in fact feel bad sometimes when I do win at things. That means someone else loses and that makes me sad. I don’t mind playing games, but not ones that are overly competitive. I just enjoy playing the game, win or lose. So of course that means I don’t really like sports.

I love to sit and just chat with people. I am very relaxed and am very open with who I am (if asked). I have some different outlooks on life, so unless someone asks, I don’t always give out my opinions too freely. I think I am a good listener and I enjoy hearing about peoples lives. I think that is why I love being a Travel Agent, I enjoy helping people with their vacations and hearing about them. I think I could be a great best friend to someone (other than Doug and my parents). I am very loyal and will do just about anything for a friend. We have traveled far to help out friends in need. I have gotten a little cynical about people though as we have been let down by friends, but I am working on that and trying to be more positive again. I tend to see the good in just about everything and have a fairly positive outlook on life. If you have ever watched the Disney show Pollyanna, then you know my personality… I am a Pollyanna type.

I have been a Christ follower since about 4ish… not totally sure of the age, but I figure that as far back as I can remember, I have always known Jesus and known his love for me. I have never backslided on my faith. I have always trusted God/Jesus with my life and known that he has been there through everything. A big part of my faith has come from my parents… they have been a great example in that area. They are my best friends and we love to travel with them.

One of my biggest dreams that I had was to go to New York, and we went there about 5 years ago for the first time. IT was everything that I imagined and more. We went again a few years ago and hope to go again and again. Another dream was to own a convertible and a few months ago we bought a Ford Mustang Convertible. There are still things on my “bucket” list and I am sure they will happen… we have a lot of living to do yet. I want to see Europe, move to California, visit many cities in the States (too many to list), and much much more when it comes to traveling. That is mostly what I want to do in life, lots of traveling.

OH… and I love to babble… always have. Can’t you tell???

One of the things I feel that are important in a church is a midweek get together of some sort. Each denomination calls it something different, but ultimately it is some kind of get together with others. When we have looked at various churches we always make sure a church has some sort of option like this because it is what helps get to know each other. We have been to a number of churches that don’t have this and that is when we have found we don’t know anybody in the church. How does one get to know each other if you just see each other 1 – 2 hours a week?

I think that is what I miss most about not going to church… is the mid week thing. It isn’t as if we can just find one to go to, but NOT go to the church… oh no, can’t have that. Usually you have to go to the church that the group is involved with… bummer!! I am not into structure, so that is another beef I have with these things. There always has to be a certain way to do things. What even annoys me more is that the church dictates what you have to study… good grief… do they tell us when to go pee too??? What totally gets me is when the church wants the groups to study the sermon notes… boy the pastor must be really high on themselves to want everyone to study his stuff. Heaven forbid if people want to talk about other things other than the sermon. Nope… can’t have people thinking for themselves. That is not the way of the church.

I wish these type of groups where more about developing friendships. I don’t understand why that isn’t more important in a church. If you don’t have friends, how can you grow with others? Our first church in Surrey had started out good with this kind of thing and just when we were finally getting to meet new people (remember we were new to the city), the church decided that we had to move to a different group. Nope, we can’t decide such things, the church has to decide that. No wonder people have such bad attitudes about church. It’s a dictatorship.

We went to a home group for 2 years at a different church and didn’t really get to be close to anyone. Nobody wanted to do things outside of the group. I guess I am the type that likes a bit of one on one type interaction and just going out and doing things. It doesn’t always have to be about the structure of the meeting or about church. We have gotten together still with a couple from this group, which is nice but we don’t go to the home group anymore. I do miss the weekly get together, but I found it was hard to get to know anyone deeply if we are always in a structured setting, with no room for spontaneity.

What does this kind of thing look to me??? I don’t have issues with some structure because I know others need it, but how about some place for openness and just talking? Why always the same thing every week? How about some quality time outside of the get together? Dinner out, out for coffee, games night, or something else like that? Why can’t people make more time for their friends? Or does it come down to the fact that these weekly get together’s are not as important as it seems? Maybe having more friends is too much for others, and the hassles of family life just doesn’t have room for more friends. I wish that wasn’t the case, but I think it is. Also why do they stop in summer? Do we stop needing each other for the summer? I guess if the church says so, then it is that way.

Yes, I am a little disheartened by church at the moment. I guess I blame them for part of our loneliness in our lives. But ultimately it is our choice to not go to church and put up with all the bullshit that goes on. Maybe someday we will find a group that will allow us to join, but not have to go to their church. Maybe someday we will find a group that looks a little like what I would feel comfortable with and that we can develop friendships that will last a lifetime. I can hope can’t I? I will always keep my options open though because you never know what God has in store for us. Yup, I still believe that God has some control of my life and that the church does not control my belief in God. It’s me and God in this life and no other institution… he will guide me and comfort me in all aspects of my search. In the end it is how I have lived this life for God that matters… so whatever he has in store, I am game for.

Here is to our journey with God… I am looking forward to our future and have great (and some not so great) stories from the past. Here is to seeing what “Christianity” looks like in all it’s forms. I look forward to the paradigm shift that is happening.

Wow has the weather sure changed from one week to the next. Last week it was raining and cold and now it's hot and very sunny. Sure makes driving the convertible fun, but the hot sun on the head needs to be dealt with.

Our landlords came by yesterday to check to make sure we weren't keeping a grow-op in our place. We weren't, but he did notice our palm tree that we planted. He liked what we have done in the garden patio area. We told him the palm tree is because we were supposed to be living in Mexico now and not here, so this is a little piece of Mexico for us.

So Doug is working on his Bachelors Degree (in Adult Education). This is so that in 4 years (when our car lease is up), we can try to see if we can get a job in the states. He has 1 full year of classes left, but will spread it over 4 years instead. 1 class a semester or maybe 2 if he can. Our ultimate goal is to move to California and legally work there.

Why California you say? Not totally sure, but we love the atmosphere and the weather in the San Diego area is nice. Our goal is to find a place between LA and San Diego somewhere. We love the beach life and I think California has the ultimate beach mentality. It is a lot like White Rock, but better weather and there is something about living in the States that we want to do. Not totally sure why, but it is a goal. If we only make it to living in White Rock for now, that is ok too, who can complain about the beach life here (other than ALL our rain). We would love to move somewhere to start all over again with people, things, ect. It's like cleaning the slate and starting new. I think that would be great. The end result might still be the same as here, but at least we tried.

There are constant reminders here of how badly things have gone in our life and I would like those reminders put away. I can't complain about life for the most part though, we have had a lot of good things happen to us, but the rough parts always stare us in the face. I would like them gone.

We enjoyed a nice weekend with my sister in Powell River (Sunshine Coast). She has a two year old and a newborn... yikes.... crazy life if you ask me. Makes me grateful for deciding to NOT have kids. Granted that stage in life is gone very quickly. We enjoyed our drive there and back. We had a great visit with my sister and my parents showed up at the end and we celebrated my dad's birthday on Sunday. Pictures are on my facebook page.

We started 2 cleaning jobs to earn some extra money. Gotta pay off some credit card debt before our next vacation. It's been fun working with Doug. Granted most of our jobs are working together, but this one we have managed to not yell at each other (YET). We actually work very well together (for the most part). We each have the qualities that make a good team in various jobs.

Not much else new with us these days. Still no prospect of a church. I just don't feel the need for church right now. I would like people to do stuff with, but just because you go to church doesn't mean you have more friends... I found we felt lonelier when going to church than now, so for now, we stick with being hermits in our condo on the beach and driving our Mustang Convertible with the top down.