California for Stefani

One of the things I feel that are important in a church is a midweek get together of some sort. Each denomination calls it something different, but ultimately it is some kind of get together with others. When we have looked at various churches we always make sure a church has some sort of option like this because it is what helps get to know each other. We have been to a number of churches that don’t have this and that is when we have found we don’t know anybody in the church. How does one get to know each other if you just see each other 1 – 2 hours a week?

I think that is what I miss most about not going to church… is the mid week thing. It isn’t as if we can just find one to go to, but NOT go to the church… oh no, can’t have that. Usually you have to go to the church that the group is involved with… bummer!! I am not into structure, so that is another beef I have with these things. There always has to be a certain way to do things. What even annoys me more is that the church dictates what you have to study… good grief… do they tell us when to go pee too??? What totally gets me is when the church wants the groups to study the sermon notes… boy the pastor must be really high on themselves to want everyone to study his stuff. Heaven forbid if people want to talk about other things other than the sermon. Nope… can’t have people thinking for themselves. That is not the way of the church.

I wish these type of groups where more about developing friendships. I don’t understand why that isn’t more important in a church. If you don’t have friends, how can you grow with others? Our first church in Surrey had started out good with this kind of thing and just when we were finally getting to meet new people (remember we were new to the city), the church decided that we had to move to a different group. Nope, we can’t decide such things, the church has to decide that. No wonder people have such bad attitudes about church. It’s a dictatorship.

We went to a home group for 2 years at a different church and didn’t really get to be close to anyone. Nobody wanted to do things outside of the group. I guess I am the type that likes a bit of one on one type interaction and just going out and doing things. It doesn’t always have to be about the structure of the meeting or about church. We have gotten together still with a couple from this group, which is nice but we don’t go to the home group anymore. I do miss the weekly get together, but I found it was hard to get to know anyone deeply if we are always in a structured setting, with no room for spontaneity.

What does this kind of thing look to me??? I don’t have issues with some structure because I know others need it, but how about some place for openness and just talking? Why always the same thing every week? How about some quality time outside of the get together? Dinner out, out for coffee, games night, or something else like that? Why can’t people make more time for their friends? Or does it come down to the fact that these weekly get together’s are not as important as it seems? Maybe having more friends is too much for others, and the hassles of family life just doesn’t have room for more friends. I wish that wasn’t the case, but I think it is. Also why do they stop in summer? Do we stop needing each other for the summer? I guess if the church says so, then it is that way.

Yes, I am a little disheartened by church at the moment. I guess I blame them for part of our loneliness in our lives. But ultimately it is our choice to not go to church and put up with all the bullshit that goes on. Maybe someday we will find a group that will allow us to join, but not have to go to their church. Maybe someday we will find a group that looks a little like what I would feel comfortable with and that we can develop friendships that will last a lifetime. I can hope can’t I? I will always keep my options open though because you never know what God has in store for us. Yup, I still believe that God has some control of my life and that the church does not control my belief in God. It’s me and God in this life and no other institution… he will guide me and comfort me in all aspects of my search. In the end it is how I have lived this life for God that matters… so whatever he has in store, I am game for.

Here is to our journey with God… I am looking forward to our future and have great (and some not so great) stories from the past. Here is to seeing what “Christianity” looks like in all it’s forms. I look forward to the paradigm shift that is happening.