I was inspired to write this after reading this post from a friend of mine
http://trentsfavoritethings.weebly.com/my-coming-out-story.html
I want to focus on a few things he wrote about what people told him because God told them to tell him that.
We grow up in a society that tells us not to question our parents or church. You probably have heard to comment "obey your parents", etc. That gives us no ability to actually come up with our own opinions and thoughts about things. Church tells us that we are supposed to listen to their rules and regulations, and again, don't question it. So we go through life being taught that if a brother sins...we are to talk to him "out of love" regarding that sin. We have fallen for that a few times, and it backfired royally and actually caused Doug to have a stroke.
A story we heard from a friend of ours, years ago. It was during a prophesy time and someone prophesied over a our friend...and then half way telling him what God told him...he then said..."I won't tell you the rest because I don't think you are ready for it"...ok...so if God told him to tell it to our friend, what happened?
So what if we were wrong about what we say to people "out of love". We say that God told us to too you something, but what if our human minds get things mixed up and we didn't portray it the right way? What if we talk to someone about their "sin" and it turns out it really wasn't a sin, just something that we think is wrong, but really, we are just being judgemental or just spewing things that our church/parents have told us and never questioned it.
We learned long ago (when Doug had his stroke), that we needed to learn to bite our tongue and when we talk to someone "out of love", that it better be positive things, encouraging and uplifiting. If God wants someone to change their ways, I do think God is quite capable to manage that on his own. He doesn't need us humans butting into each other's lives and telling each other what to do. What one person considers a sin, may not be a sin to another. I think there has to be some trust within our Christian community that we know what we are doing and that we can listen to God when we need some help in changing our ways. If someone needs help, then I think that someone should ask for it...then talking to them "out of love" might be a way to go...but only if they are asking for that.
When God tell us to tell someone else something...I think we truly need to make sure it is from God and not our own judgements of someone. God/Jesus is about uplifting us and encouraging us...so I would think that is what he will tell others to do too. How hard is it to just pray with someone, listen to them, or just give them encouraging words. Why point out "sins"...something tells me that if I have a sin in my life, I know about it already and hopefully am working through it. I am not stupid...I can figure out right from wrong. I think most other Christians are the same way. So let's encourage, listen and love instead of being judgemental, negative and bitter.
We have learned a lot in our marriage about God/Jesus. We have changed our tune about what is considered a sin when it comes to being Gay. If someone loves the same sex, what right do I have to tell them it is a sin? What right do I have to say that they need healing if they want to go to a church. Nobody has that right because maybe it isn't a sin. What if people are wrong? What if it isn't a sin...now you have poisoned them against the church. What if we had not tried so hard to mend a friendship that was doomed to fail anyway? Doug would not have had a stroke...our lives would have been oh so different...we wouldn't have lost our house and our business...all this because the church told us to try to fix something. They were wrong! We suffered because of it. My friend Trent suffers because his church was wrong.
We can't dwell on the sins of others though...we have to practice what we preach right? We all make mistakes and even if the people who wrong us don't say sorry, we still have to get over it. We are all humans and we need to live in this world of humans. I will not let my love of God/Jesus change because of what people do. We need to make our own choices and our own decisions. We need to evaluate what is wrong or right in our lives. Don't let others dictate that for us. Questions things, research things, talk to people, be open to change and love each other without judgement.
If you need to tell someone something "in love"...make sure it is encouraging and actually loving. At least that is what I want from people. Me and God have a fairly open relationship...if I am doing something wrong, I am fairly sure he will tell me ;)
Well...time to get to work...hopefully I have made myself clear...if not, ask a question, I will tell you if I can answer it or not. I tend to have troubles getting the things from my head onto paper, so I may have said something in the wrong way, but didn't mean it that way...I am a numbers person, not a words person. This is the best I can do LOL
http://trentsfavoritethings.weebly.com/my-coming-out-story.html
I want to focus on a few things he wrote about what people told him because God told them to tell him that.
We grow up in a society that tells us not to question our parents or church. You probably have heard to comment "obey your parents", etc. That gives us no ability to actually come up with our own opinions and thoughts about things. Church tells us that we are supposed to listen to their rules and regulations, and again, don't question it. So we go through life being taught that if a brother sins...we are to talk to him "out of love" regarding that sin. We have fallen for that a few times, and it backfired royally and actually caused Doug to have a stroke.
A story we heard from a friend of ours, years ago. It was during a prophesy time and someone prophesied over a our friend...and then half way telling him what God told him...he then said..."I won't tell you the rest because I don't think you are ready for it"...ok...so if God told him to tell it to our friend, what happened?
So what if we were wrong about what we say to people "out of love". We say that God told us to too you something, but what if our human minds get things mixed up and we didn't portray it the right way? What if we talk to someone about their "sin" and it turns out it really wasn't a sin, just something that we think is wrong, but really, we are just being judgemental or just spewing things that our church/parents have told us and never questioned it.
We learned long ago (when Doug had his stroke), that we needed to learn to bite our tongue and when we talk to someone "out of love", that it better be positive things, encouraging and uplifiting. If God wants someone to change their ways, I do think God is quite capable to manage that on his own. He doesn't need us humans butting into each other's lives and telling each other what to do. What one person considers a sin, may not be a sin to another. I think there has to be some trust within our Christian community that we know what we are doing and that we can listen to God when we need some help in changing our ways. If someone needs help, then I think that someone should ask for it...then talking to them "out of love" might be a way to go...but only if they are asking for that.
When God tell us to tell someone else something...I think we truly need to make sure it is from God and not our own judgements of someone. God/Jesus is about uplifting us and encouraging us...so I would think that is what he will tell others to do too. How hard is it to just pray with someone, listen to them, or just give them encouraging words. Why point out "sins"...something tells me that if I have a sin in my life, I know about it already and hopefully am working through it. I am not stupid...I can figure out right from wrong. I think most other Christians are the same way. So let's encourage, listen and love instead of being judgemental, negative and bitter.
We have learned a lot in our marriage about God/Jesus. We have changed our tune about what is considered a sin when it comes to being Gay. If someone loves the same sex, what right do I have to tell them it is a sin? What right do I have to say that they need healing if they want to go to a church. Nobody has that right because maybe it isn't a sin. What if people are wrong? What if it isn't a sin...now you have poisoned them against the church. What if we had not tried so hard to mend a friendship that was doomed to fail anyway? Doug would not have had a stroke...our lives would have been oh so different...we wouldn't have lost our house and our business...all this because the church told us to try to fix something. They were wrong! We suffered because of it. My friend Trent suffers because his church was wrong.
We can't dwell on the sins of others though...we have to practice what we preach right? We all make mistakes and even if the people who wrong us don't say sorry, we still have to get over it. We are all humans and we need to live in this world of humans. I will not let my love of God/Jesus change because of what people do. We need to make our own choices and our own decisions. We need to evaluate what is wrong or right in our lives. Don't let others dictate that for us. Questions things, research things, talk to people, be open to change and love each other without judgement.
If you need to tell someone something "in love"...make sure it is encouraging and actually loving. At least that is what I want from people. Me and God have a fairly open relationship...if I am doing something wrong, I am fairly sure he will tell me ;)
Well...time to get to work...hopefully I have made myself clear...if not, ask a question, I will tell you if I can answer it or not. I tend to have troubles getting the things from my head onto paper, so I may have said something in the wrong way, but didn't mean it that way...I am a numbers person, not a words person. This is the best I can do LOL