California for Stefani

Another Christmas has come and gone.   I had mixed feelings about it this year.  What I wanted to give to people we couldn’t afford, but I think we managed pretty good considering.  The calendar that I got my parents didn’t turn out as well as I had wanted, so hopefully next year we can afford to use Shutterfly again because their product is so much better than Costco’s or Staples.   My family loves the presents and my parents go a little overboard (not complaining).  We don’t make a big deal about the birth of Christ on Christmas because we celebrate Jesus all year round.  I am not sure if Jesus/God cares too much if we make a big deal of it anyway especially if we “celebrate” him all year round.  From what I gather, it isn’t his actual birthday anyway, so let’s call it Christmas and celebrate Santa Claus LOL.  Maybe we should pull out the story of Mary and Joseph sometime during the year and just appreciate the sacrifice that God did by sending his son.  Let’s put the story in perspective…

Jesus is sitting in Heaven, minding everyone’s business…sitting nicely at the right hand of God.  He is organizing the choir, finding a place for Elton John to someday be the pianist (I can hope can’t I?), and just chatting with everyone around him…then God (his daddy) says to his son…”son, I have a job for you”…never words you want to hear from a father no matter if you are a spiritual being or human form.  Let’s assume he agrees (and isn’t told he has to do it)…and suddenly…poof…his spiritual being self get’s plopped into baby form and is stuck in a uterus for 9ish months and then has to start his human form life from a tiny screaming baby, through childhood, teenage hood and then an adult.  Can you imagine?!?!  Having the perfect life in Heaven and then having to join us here on earth in this very warped place?  What a shock and probably a bit of an adjustment.   It is because of that transition though that we know he understands what we are going through.  All the heartache, tears, disappointments and sorrows…he knows it all.  It is what I cling to in these dark hours.  It isn’t just me who goes through all this crap…even Jesus went through it all, and he had a pretty good life before he had to go through it all. 

We celebrate the birth of Christ on Christmas, but really, we celebrate that it was the start of him truly understanding what we go through living on this earth.   So we don’t need to just take one day a year to celebrate his birth, we can take any day of the year and celebrate the fact that Jesus knows how we feel.  He made the ultimate sacrifice for us and it started out as a promise in the Old Testament and finally was a reality when he was conceived. 

So on that note, I will tell you how our Christmas goes because we love to celebrate the spirit of giving (and receiving) of presents, the company of family and the joy of eating.  Our day started on Christmas eve…after Doug’s work, we headed to my parents place.  Once we got there we settled into our bedroom and made some Kona coffee and got ready to visit.  For dinner we had stir fry (very traditional you know).  Then we got to open up our stockings.  My parents love to stuff them full and we had lots of fun seeing what kind of neat little things we got.  I got gum, lip chap, batteries, lamp, stuffy toy, Purdy’s peanut butter bar (sugar free) and a few other little things.  We finally went to bed around 10ish because having a 2 and a 4 year old in the house makes everyone very tired.  They tend to get up early in the morning.  We made plans with Jos, Andrea and Owen for them to get there at 8:30am the next morning.

Christmas morning…we got up around 7:30 and started the coffee, the fire place, etc.  By 8:30 the VanSantens had arrived with the traditional (sort of) dutch breakfast fixings.  They got it all ready and I think by around 9:30am, we were getting ready to open presents.  A few people will get up and hand out all the presents.  When all the presents have been handed out, then we all get to open them.  You land up not being able to see the floor because of all the wrapping paper and stuff.  Those are the days I miss Louie…he loved to tear up balls of wrapping paper.  After everything is opened, we go and have breaky.  It is always tasty…gouda cheese, ham, buns, almond cookies, stolen, crunchy biscuits that you put chocolate sprinkles on, and if you can find it, raisin bread.  Once breakfast is done, then some of us go back to our presents and play with them.  There was a lot of lego this year as presents, so it came out fairly quickly and got built.   I was able to scrapbook some pages (including the Christmas pics) and managed to get about 8 pages done.  My sister brought her laptop along and did some scrapbooking too.  For dinner we had ham, mashed pototes, vegies, apple sauce, pickles and gravy.  For dessert it was 4% cottage cheese (the best in the world) and fruit.  All in all, it was a very nice cozy Christmas Day with family.  I stayed in my pj’s all day which is always fun.

So as you can see, we enjoyed our Christmas.  We still have my mom’s side of the family Christmas party to go to on Friday and then it will be 2013 next week.  I am so happy that 2012 is over and I am really hoping that 2013 will be so much better.  We celebrate 25 years of marriage next  year, so we hope to have a little gathering to celebrate that. 

Merry Christmas everyone and have a Happy New Year

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had troubles falling back to sleep.  It was probably the coffee I had in the evening, which is the risk I take when I drink caffeine.   I had a conversation earlier in the day with my Jewish friend about the Old Testament (Torah to them).  I try not to push my “Christian” faith with her and try not to bring Jesus up, but it got me thinking…can a Jew be a Christian?  We also discussed how I had been taught as a child that the Mormon’s where a cult and not a Christian either…I have since learned otherwise of course.  These thoughts brought me to the above verse early this morning…the simplicity of our Christian faith.

When you read the verse, what do you think?  Is it not really a simple statement?  If you believe that God sent is son Jesus to earth, you will have eternal life.   It means EVERYONE who believes in Jesus will go to Heaven…sure you can read more into it, but why?  Can we not keep it a simple statement?  This means every religious background that believes in Jesus as the son of God (not some prophet), will have eternal life.  Does that go for Jews, Mormons, Gay’s, etc too?  For sure it does…it goes for everyone!  The rest of our walk with Jesus is up to the individual person.  My core belief is the same as every Christian…Jesus is the son of God and he died for us on the cross, and I will have eternal life for that.  The rest of the rules and regulations are up for interpretation.  I am not totally sold on the whole concept of the Trinity (turns out that is an issue with the Mormons too…maybe I am more Mormon LOL), but does that make me less of a Christian?  Are there certain levels of Christianity (i sure hope not). 

My walk with Jesus keeps changing…the beliefs I agree up in church with have changed.   I think it is because I am growing up and learning to question what I have been told and focus on my walk with Jesus and let him show me what my beliefs are.   What I may believe as a “Christian” way may not be what others think either.  I am ok with that because we all have to do the walk with Jesus in our own way.  I have friends (Christians) who love Zombies…that is just a concept I don’t understand because to me they are evil, but to them they are fun…so what right do I have to tell them they are walking in evil?  If I think they are evil, then I will stay away from it, and pray for my friends that if there is any evil to Zombies, that God keeps it away from them.  Even the Goth thing and Christianity…I don’t totally understand…Jesus is the light yet Christian Goth’s seem to walk in the dark…but again, where am I to judge someone.  I love the Goth clothing and I know I can’t be Goth because I am too bright and smiley for it LOL.   I tend to not make a big deal of my beliefs about such things because it is between me and Jesus.  Now, if someone asks for my opinion, I might be pushed to say it…for example, a friend asked for opinions about telling her kid that Santa is real.  I have issues with lying to kids about stuff like that, so I said that.  Granted I was the minority in that thinking (figures), but nobody criticized me for it because she asked for opinions, and I gave it.  I never said that my way was right though, because all it is, is my opinion.  Why would my opinion be the right one?  Why is someone’s else’s opinion the right one?

I will cling to my core belief and the rest of my walk with Jesus is between me and him.   If someone has issues with that, keep it to yourself and just pray for me instead LOL.  What I don’t understand is why church’s have such issues with being an individual.   I don’t force my ways on others.  But I guess the reason there are so many denominations is because there are different ways to belief and you need to start a new church for each belief LOL.  I am hoping there is a place for us in this world, but if there isn’t, I guess I know there is one in Heaven for us where our beliefs aren’t an issue any more. 

Being a Christian is very simple…and I just don’t know why everyone makes it so complicated.   Now granted some people like words and digging deep into the Word of God and the history of it all.  I am not saying they are making Christianity more complicated, they just love the deeper aspects of the words, where I like the simplicity of the words.   We all have our strengths and God creates us to be unique and different peoples of God.  My facebook friends Mo & Bill are pastor like people and they love the pickier aspects of God…but they don’t look down on my on my simple Christian ways.  I don’t think they are any more Christian than I am, they just love “theology” more than I do.  There is nothing wrong with that until it becomes a judgemental thing and fingers get pointed about who is a better Christian than someone else.   Does that make sense?  Probably not because I tend to babble LOL.

My point of this is that we all can have eternal life with God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit (as a separate being or a Trinity).  It doesn’t matter where you come from, who you are, where your religious faith stems from, etc…it is just a matter of believing and the rest will come as you walk the amazing walk that is with Jesus Christ. 

Doug posted a “note” on facebook a few days ago, and this is my view of his note…

I will follow my hubbies dreams where ever it leads.  I know he would do the same for me if I had such grand dreams.  I want him to be happy (and joyful) and if moving to some crazy fishing village is what brings him joy, I will go along.  Actually the sound of it was kind of intriguing, so I am always game to try something new these days…but I have to say I was surprised at the feelings it brought up when we realized we might actually have a chance at this job.

As most of you know, a few years ago we had the opportunity to move to Mexico for our dream job.  We applied for the job, went to two interviews and then found out we got the job, and so the new employers paid for our trip (around $1000) to Mexico to bring some of our stuff over already and just check out the place.  The first couple day’s there, we were told some of the duties of our job will be, etc.  Then on the third day we noticed a change in attitude and we were summoned to the table and where told that we weren’t going to be staying and that they really hadn’t said we got the job.  I informed them that I have the emails that says otherwise.  Our hearts fell apart for just a moment.  That feeling will never leave me…I try to push it away, but it all came up again this week.   How does one explain that feeling?  I will try… just imagine you walking along and suddenly a hole appears and you just fall…you feel like the world just fell right apart with no notice.  So when we found out about this new job, all those fears came right back as if it just happened yesterday.  We landed up not getting the job and it was nothing like Mexico because it would have been here in BC and it was a legal job, but still, those feelings came back.   Doug and I try not to talk about our Mexico fiasco much to anyone anymore because who wants to hear our woe’s, but occasionally we bring it up between the two of us.   It is always just in the back of our minds I guess.  I do look forward to the day when we can forget about it completely…wonder if that will ever happen.

I am ok with the “no” as it means I get to live close to my parents for awhile yet.  Who knows what our future holds though because I don’t see us living in the Fraser Valley forever.  I do hope our job situation does get better soon and then maybe we won’t be always looking to move somewhere brighter and better.

Work is going ok, but I could use more clients.  The client that I had that was going to be a bunch of hours didn’t pan out well.  She want back on her word and didn’t give me as many hours as she said she would.  I landed up quitting with her because she just wasn’t trust worthy and I need to trust my clients.  Doug is still looking for work as his job at London Drugs isn’t treating him so well.  Can’t believe what people expect out of their employees for minimum wage.

It is just about Halloween and our house is decorated and soon those decorations will come down and then the Christmas decorations will come up…my fav time of year… I love Christmas and no matter how crummy our life is, I will enjoy all the lights and decorations that is Christmas.  In a few weeks we head to Tofino with the family…yup my favourite place in the world…a 4 hour drive to sit by the ocean and do nothing…hmmmm…can’t I do that home?  HA HA HA.  It is a family thing and we go because the family likes it and thankfully there is wifi there so I can still be in touch with the real world.  Also I can do scrapbooking on my computer so if nothing else, I can scrapbook by the ocean (can’t I do that here too? LOL).   Then in January we are going to Disneyworld and a Disney cruise…sure hope we have some money by then otherwise we are dumpster diving at a Disney resort AGAIN!!!.

I am trying to make this blog a little lighter since my last few were very heavy.  Our feelings haven’t changed much, but so far we haven’t wrapped ourselves around a tree and we are alive and kicking.  We went for a drive in our car today with the top down…we just needed to drive around in our car that brings us so much joy.   The car likes it that it is so loved LOL.  

So looking on the bright side…we are alive (is that a good thing?), we have a convertible Mustang that loves us, we have a crazy cat that brings us hours of enjoyment, we live close to the ocean, we have vacations planned (yes I am calling Tofino a vacation LOL), and Christmas is coming up soon and so I can decorate our house like it was a big present LOL.  We can only look on the bright side because we have Jesus in our lives…what an awesome friend we have in Jesus.

Today I had a very angry episode.  I got an amazing gift from one of my clients (Blackberry Playbook) and it wouldn’t work properly and so I actually considered throwing it out the window because I was so angry with it.  Thankfully I know how to think forward and know that this too shall pass.  It did pass…i tossed it into the trunk and left it alone for now.   I personally don’t think it likes me because now I am trying to make it work with my computer and it isn’t working either…it was a gift, so I have to keep it, but honestly, I think I would return it if it was something I had bought myself.  No electronics is this amount of trouble.  I know Doug would make me keep it though and try to make it work, so I guess once he gets home, he can work on the little beast.  Ultimately it isn’t the playbook that is the problem, it is the fact that something so insignificant has made me so angry.  It is how I feel right now…plain old angry. 

We are having a rough go of it…we have made a pact that if one of us wants to take our life, we have to discuss it with the other and make sure we do it together LOL.  Yup, these are thoughts in our head right now…why is it worth living?  If life is going to be this hard, is there purpose?  So this is what brings on this blog post today…

As a a believer in Christ, we have hope.  We know that in the end, we will be in heaven, but why not go there now?  Why go through all this crap in life when our end purpose is heaven?  Honestly, no idea, other than we are promised that we will be taken care of.   It is hard to look at the future when our present is clouding everything.  So the purpose of this blog is to look at the future and all that it could hold…

1.  Vacations, vacations, vacations…there is no Disneyworld/Disneyland in heaven, so I have to explore every inch of it here on earth

2.  My Mustang is not in heaven, and it would miss us, so we need to stay here for awhile and enjoy all it has to offer to us

3.  Family time…we love spending time with my parents, and I am fairly certain they would miss us, so we will stick around for a little longer

4.  California…we could miss out on the opportunity of moving there when Canada finally acquires it in the negotiations, which I am told are going on as we speak (yes I am the president of these negotiations LOL)

5.  ???

I have posted below a song that we hold onto right now…granted any worship songs are much needed right now as I really don’t think we could make it without them.  I play them very loudly in the car while crying.  Faith is what helps us through this.  It is our faith in Jesus that he will be right beside us through it all, holding our hands.  He is my best friend, and best friends don’t leave us right?  Jesus died for us…he gave up his life so that we can live on this earth with a clean slate, so I guess I can muster all my strength and survive this because even all this is nothing compared to what he had to endure.   Jesus just isn’t some story…he was real, there were people who actually got to touch him, so with that knowledge, I will keep looking to him for peace.   If he can manage here, so can I because he is standing beside me crying right along with me.  Thank you Jesus for that!!

So on that note, here is the song by Kutless called “What Faith Can Do” … I am also holding out for that miracle because right now we both hate Doug’s job.  They haven’t been treating him very well and considering all he makes is minimum wage, it just seem worth it.  So I am calling out to God for that Miracle for Doug’s job…I want to “see a miracle just happen”.  If we call out on it, hopefully it will come true.

“What Faith Can Do”

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It is friday…most people are finished their work week, but I still have the weekend to go.  My last day at the retail job is on Saturday and on Sunday I will be doing a few hours of bookkeeping while Doug is at work.  I do get to visit with my good friend Pam first though, which will be nice.  We are going to have a relaxing evening today (friday) though.  Doug is cooking me dinner as he was off all day, and then we will watch the new show Elementary and then it will be time to go in the hot tub.  I need a soak in some hot water.

I posted the following partial blog in 2006 about what is a friend to me (my old Louiesowner blog)

1. They listen without judgement
2. They understand and respect my boundaries
3. They don't blow a gasket when they find out I am ******** (I deleted this for now so not to upset anyone)
4. They comfort us when we are sad.
5. They would drop anything if we needed them to be there for us
6. They are willing to try to understand some of our quirky beliefs
7. They agree to disagree if needed.

 

I still stand by these things.  I think these are the main things that are important to me when finding friends.  I am not fond of confrontation so I don’t usually bring stuff up and if it is a touchy subject with a friend, we don’t even get near it.  Why cause disagreements when you don’t need to.  One thing I would add to this is I think friends (local ones) need to actually spend quality time with each other.  Not just “church” time, but one on one time.  How does one grow close with each other if you never just relax and enjoy each other’s company and bring those walls down?   I have said this before and I will say it again…”church” is not the place to grow close, it is a place to worship God/Jesus and to meet with other fellow believers.

For the first 20ish years of our marriage, Doug and I would go out of our way to spend time with people, have dinner parties and just invite ourselves over to people’s places, but after so many years of doing that and people not reciprocating that same attitude, we kinda have given up. Just like a marriage that is broken, you can’t have one person in a relationship when the other isn’t into it.   Why should we be the ones that always do the inviting…it makes it seem like we are the only ones thinking about that kind of stuff.  So after awhile a person just gives up.  As I write this, it suddenly makes me understand more clearly why we want to move away from it all here… we want a new slate and this is one of the reasons.  We want to start over with friends.  I think we want to try again because obviously we have failed (for the most part) here.   I want friends that think of us and think to email (phone is so yesterday) or text us to come over, or go out for coffee.   Is that so much to ask?  Really, is it so much to ask that someone thinks of us?  Oh sure, I am sure people will say “but we are praying for you”… which comes to a pet peeve of mine…

…Prayer (again I think I have posted about this before).  I believe it works and I believe it is a way (one of many) to communicate with God/Jesus.  But I don’t believe it should be a way to wash our hands of the responsibility of friends to physically support each other.   I am not saying we have to do everything that we prayer for, for example, we pray for a friend to get a job, but we don’t offer them a job, that isn’t possible usually.  I think we do have to stand with our friends if they are down.  If someone is down, what do they need?  Usually some company, someone to just laugh with, or maybe play a video game with.  Not complicated things, but basic things.  Yes prayer works too, but we need to follow up that prayer with action.

Our bible study is going to do a thing on prayer…sigh…yes, let’s study how to pray, when to pray, why to pray, bla bla bla bla.  Is prayer that complicated?  I never knew it was that complicated… I thought it was fairly easy… talk to God/Jesus about our problems, bring up our friends in prayer to him, etc.  Then get up off your knees and knock on your friends door and ask if they need anything?  Does that seem complicated?  Nope, not to me, but apparently we have to “study” it.   Sigh… have I mentioned I am not a “church” person??  LOL.  Now for those people who need to learn more about it, I think that is just fine.   We all love to learn about different things and maybe some people need to learn more about how prayer works, but I just don’t get it.  I won’t judge others on why they want to learn what they want to learn, but is it ok if I think it just makes it all too complicated?  I am more than happy to live in my little simple world where me and God chat about things and when I think someone needs prayer, I just say it.  

I would like to hear God a little better though, so I will keep focusing on what I should be listening too and hopefully things will become clearer.  I will pray for that and for those of you out there that believe in prayer, feel free to pray for me, because again, I do believe in prayer, I just believe it comes hand in hand with action.

Let me quote a portion of a song and then I will go on with this post.

“Now I lie awake at night, trying not to think, these are the hardest times I've seen I'm still holding on I know you never said it would be easy all thick and no thin, but the man who waits is the man who wins, holding on, oh yeah, I'm holding on.”

This is what happens to me (and Doug) just about every night.  It didn’t happen while we were on vacation which was nice, but the second that we are home, it happens again.  We wake up in a panic…who is going to want money the next day, how will we pay the bills, etc. 

I woke up this morning again and made sure I properly woke up so I didn’t keep the thoughts going and then thought about things a bit and realized one of the things we are feeling right now is “forgotten”.  Obviously God has not forgotten us, but it really feels like it sometimes.  Our brain knows that God is there for us through it all and carries us when we can’t go on anymore, but sometimes our heart just gives up with thinking with the brain and says “it is broken”.  It is just how I felt and I figured I would put it down on “paper” before going to work today.  I am grateful for the new job and that I am working 3 days at a few different jobs this week.  But it is so hard.  Everyday the phone rings over and over again from people wanting money.  Fair enough, we owe the money, but it is just a reminder of how hard things are. 

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it is just so hard to see.  I know that we are protected by God and that he gives us peace to manage through this.  I know all these things and I believe in all these things and I have faith that these things will pass, but in a moment every so often, I just feel forgotten.  That moment will pass and I will keep praying that we will be ok.  We are not forgotten…we are protected and LOVED!

Right now I would say this is the worst I have felt in all our married life.   I know this is not what God wants and things will turn around.  This world is what brings this crap and we have to manage through it because that is the curse of living in this world.  I am looking for those small miracles though (a big one would be nice too).  Well, one small miracle is the job that I have right now, so I better get dressed and get there so I can get paid.

I went to a cousins wedding yesterday and it has gotten me thinking this week about the relationship with cousins.  There are 7 siblings on my mom’s side of the family and other than 1 sibling, they all live in Canada.  This meant lots of time was spent together as family.  We didn’t get together just at Christmas, but throughout the whole year.  Kids spent nights at each other’s house and families visited.  All of us cousins got along and enjoying spending time with each other.  I remember thinking that it would be cool that this could happen even when we all grew up and have kids of our own.  As we all got older and into our 20’s, things started to change and soon we didn’t spend time together like we did before.  Now it is only at special occasions for the most part.  There are a few exceptions, but I will get to that. 

When you are kids, personality differences are an issue, but with family you just put up with it and learn to spend time together and enjoy it (or else LOL).  I guess as kids we don’t see those differences as much, but as we get older, those differences show up and I guess you start to realize that just because a person is a cousin, doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them and that makes sense, just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean you have to be a friend to them.   I totally get that, but it is so weird that we all grew up together for the first 18ish years of our lives and then slowly things change and soon we only see each other at the special occasions.  So this blog post is too the great memories I have of my cousins.  You all made my first 18 years of life fun, enjoyable and filled with memories (good and bad).

Who is first?  Who did we spend the time with the most?

Jen & Chris Cham – they lived in Vancouver (the big city).  We spent many many days with them.  We had many a sleepover at their place.  Their dad was Asian, so he introduced us to good Chinese food.  It is where we learned about Dim Sum and the love for ethnic food.  They also had the greatest new electronic toys.  I was the oldest of the group as Jen was Andrea’s age and Chris was Monica’s age, but we all still got along.  For the first few years we would all sleep in the basement together, but as we got older, Chris had to sleep in his room and the rest of us slept in a room together.  This was still in a time when we could wander the streets and not worry too much.  We loved walking up and down the alley and just spending time with our cousins.  We got to know some of the neighbour kids and had fun all playing together.  When we started to get older (in our teens) a bunch of us cousins got motorcycles and Jen and Chris upped all of us and got some pretty fancy dirt bikes.  I remember when Jen got her Mustang…what a great car that was.  Chris landed up going to college in Chicago for awhile.  He spent a lot of time away from home, so we didn’t see him a lot.  Now he is back and we see him more with his wife.  Jen has found her roots a little here and we get to see her more now at family gatherings.

 

Nathan, Mark & John – these brothers are actually my second cousins, but we spent so much time with them and they are such a big part of our family, that we just call them cousins.  They lived on a farm in Rosedale and we had lots of fun at their place.  The parents loved us girls because they only had the boys, so to have girls in the house was fun for them.  We would spend hours with them playing in the hay barn.  We even would help out in the barn with stuff like milking, cleaning poop, etc.   My funniest memory of Nathan is when we would stay overnight and we would make farting noises with our armpits.   When we moved from Agassiz to Rosedale, we would drive to school with Nathan in his Camero… Andrea and I always felt so special to be able to do that.  Nathan was my age and Mark was Monica’s age.  John was much younger than all of us.   I would say we spent a lot of nights at their place and when we had family gatherings at my grandparents place, they lived so close by that we would always wander over.  So many fun memories…the many farm workers they had would be a whole different blog post HEE HEE HEE.  Nathan let us (Doug and I) use his car for our wedding.  We also spent grad together.  When Nathan left for school, then we didn’t see much of him anymore.  Soon he found a great woman for his wife and they had 4 kids.  Mark married and had 2 kids.  We went on vacation with Nathan, Heather and 2 of the kids a few years ago and it has been great connecting with them a bit in the last 4 years.   We haven’t seen Mark at family gatherings much and we miss getting to know him and his family.  Nathan can’t always come because he is a doctor and they live on Vancouver Island, so we don’t see them as often as we would like either.  We do try to see them when we go out to the island.   Maybe in the future things will change a little because I miss visiting with Nathan and his family.

Cheryl & Heather – my cousins from Manitoba (for most of our childhood).  What can I saw about my beautiful twin cousin Cheryl (she is born on the same day as me)?  She was my arch enemy as a child for the longest time. Every time she would come and visit, her and Nathan would take off and I would be the third wheel.  But when it was just me and her, we were best of friends.  We went to visit them once in Manitoba and that was a lot of fun.  We were fairly young, but I think I remember a lot of it.  We would write letters back and forth throughout our teen years and once they moved out here, we spent a lot more time with them, but that wasn’t until our late teens (19 or so I think).  Heather was Andrea’s age and so I didn’t spend as much time with her, but I know Andrea and Heather spent a lot of time together.  Heather landed up moving back to Manitoba, so we really don’t see much of her, but Cheryl stayed here, met a wonderful man and had 2 kids who we still spend time with.   I love Cheryl’s story of meeting Paul and how her life unfolded with having James and then 6 years later after James, came Mikaela.  We got to be a big part of their life and we will forever be grateful.  It took a lot of effort though as we are very different people with very different views on life.   But all of us made that effort and I think it has paid off in the end.  Now we don’t spend as much time together, but as we all grow up, different people come into our lives and things change.  It is a part of growing up and that is just life.  Now we mostly see them at family gatherings and occasionally throughout the year, but not near as often as we did before when the kids where younger.   Maybe that will change someday again, especially if we move some place hot and then we will see them a lot more HA HA HA.

Kevin, Loren, Naomi, Cor, Sarah, Katrina & John – my Barg family…if you read my facebook page at all, you will see me mention the Barg girls a lot.  They are my quirky side…the ones I relate too even though we are all very different.  The girls live their life as they like it, not the way the world tells them too.  I grew up mostly knowing Kevin, Loren and Naomi, when they lived in Lumby.  I would spend a few weeks in the summer with them and as a family we would always go over Thanksgiving long weekend to do fruit picking and visiting the goat farm.  I loved spending time with my aunt Connie and my younger cousins.  Kevin is the same age as Monica and the rest of the kids are even younger.  Kevin and Monica (my sister) are 4 years younger than me.  I still enjoyed spending time with my cousins though and we did get in trouble for staying up to late giggling in the bedroom.  The other 4 in the family I didn’t really get to know until we were all adults because they moved away from Lumby to explore the northern parts of BC.  It wasn’t until they moved to Creston that we started to get to know the cousins a little better.  When Naomi was looking to spread her wings, we took her into our home many years ago and eventually she found her hubby (Nigel) and had 1 kid.  Of all the cousins, they are the ones we spend time with the most.  We don’t always see eye to eye about things, but we all have great conversations and we are free to believe what we want without judgement.  Cor, Sarah and Katrina are great facebook friends and I think if we lived closer together, we would still be face to face friends.  

Jorg & Ursula – my German cousins.  We didn’t see them much at all and so I don’t really have a lot of memories of them.  Jorg was a year older than me, but when he came to visit, you never would forget him.  He was this cute young boy with a great sense of style.  He even had someone offer to buy his clothes off him at the airport.  I think I really only got to visit with him closely once and it was unforgettable.   He died in his late teens so I didn’t get to know him too well.  I would have loved to have gotten to know him as an adult and I always wonder if we would have been friends.  Ursula is a number of years older than me, so I really don’t remember her much.  She is married now and has 1 kid.  We missed seeing them this summer because of work.

Gabriella, Markus & Thomas – again, not my direct cousins, but close enough.  They where a lot older than us, but we spent a lot of time with them as a family.  One of them usually would come with us to Lumby to visit the Barg family.  We would spend time at their place in Agassiz.  Not sure if we “played” with them much as we were a lot younger than them, but I do remember having good times with them.  Thomas is now married and has two kids, Markus is married, and Gabriella is married with 2 kids and we have slowly gotten reconnected with her and her hubby Art.  It is kind of neat when you get reconnected with family that you haven’t seen for a long time and realize that as an adult, the age difference isn’t as big of a deal as it was when you were a kid.  I look forward to seeing how our relationship develops as adults.

Jeremy, Suzanne & Mikki – my young farm cousins.  Jeremy is 11 years younger than me and he is the oldest in his family.  We really didn’t get to know them as well because of the big age difference.   We would spend time with them on the farm and when we all got motorcycles, they were one of the families that got involved in our motorcycle adventures.  As we have grown up, we really haven’t been too connected with this part of the family because we never developed the relationship as kids.  It has only been recently that we have done a bit with Jeremy and last year a bunch of us all went on a Disney cruise together.  I have enjoyed getting to know Jeremy as an adult.  Suzanne and Mikki are just so much younger, that I don’t think we have a lot in common.  But I really enjoyed the wedding of Suzanne yesterday and are very appreciative that we got invited even though we are not very close.   It is great to see family so happy and even if we only see them on family gatherings, at least we have that.

 

Here is a picture of the family trip to Hawaii when I was 17.  A lot of the cousins were together for 2 weeks.  I won’t go into great detail about the trip because I have good and bad memories about it, but it was a great experience (for the most part) and it was fun getting to know the cousins just a little bit better.  We will always have our “Knight Rider” memories and Nathan and his zinc sun tan lotion… we will never forget certain aspects of that vacation together.

I managed to get some family pictures at the wedding yesterday, so here they are…

My aunt Trudy with my cousins Jen (on left) and Chris with his wife (on right)

Jeremy, Suzanne & Mikki

My family

Cheryl, Paul, James (with his girlfriend) & Mikaela

 

As you can see my life has been full with cousins.  I am grateful for them.   They have brought me great joy and some really great memories.   Life changes as we get older, and it has been hard sometimes to get over the fact that we don’t spend as much time together as cousins as I thought we would.  We have our own lives and our own friends, but I enjoy the family gatherings when we have them so that we can catch up.

We all have dreams and we try to attain those dreams.  At least I do.  I generally don’t create dreams that I can’t attain because then I am just disappointed.  We have the little dreams, and we all have big dreams and right now our biggest dream is to be able to live in Southern California, but honestly, is this an attainable dream?  I don’t know as the US and Canada don’t get along well when it comes to moving across borders.  But why California?  Why not the Sunshine Coast?  Well, one reason is the sand…the sand in California is “real” (as quoted by my niece).  But why else?  Well… here are some reasons…

1.  There is something about the California Coast people that appeal to us… watching a bunch of business people go surfing at lunch is just cool.  There is a laid back lifestyle that appeals to me, which thankfully, the people on the Pacific Coast are slowly understanding.

2.  It is the part about our life that would mean starting over…cleaning the slate and trying to create our life to go a little better and maybe do things without the mistakes we made here.   I think that might be our financial hell talking though, so maybe once things look up a little better, we won’t be so down about not being able to move.

3.  We have some really cool friends in Southern California and I would love to live close by so we could get to know them more…how fun would that be. 

4.  Mickey Mouse lives there…really, how amazing would it be to live in the same state as Disneyworld?  Is that not everyone’s dream? 

So why not the Sunshine Coast…it is close by and the lifestyle is a lot like what they have in Southern California… or maybe Vancouver Island…especially the west side where all the surfer’s are…hmmmm…do we change our dreams?  Not sure and it is what we have been pondering.  Here are the reasons we stay here and we have to focus on them because even though the grass is always greener on the other side, our grass is what we have and we have to nurture it, water it and appreciate it.

1.  My parents…they are our best friends and we LOVE spending time with them.  They support us and are there for us through it all.  How could we move away from them? 

2.  Our current living situation…we may be having issues with the tenants downstairs, but the big picture here is that we have amazing landlords and something tells me we can be long time friends.  This is one our favourite places to live so far.  We love the area and we have the support to make our space look nice. 

3.  We can work here…in California we would not be able to work, so really, we have not choice but to stay because here is where the work is.  So our prayer is that we find jobs that can pay the bills and be able to travel to California to visit.

4.  Being a Canadian…well…I would love to be an American citizen, but after this year of watching all the American people grumble and complain about EVERYTHING and how non tolerant they are with differences in people, I am slowly understanding why we should be proud to be Canadian.  We grumble about our politics, but honestly, who can do better?  We don’t live in a perfect world and the only way we can change the people in politics is to go out and vote.  Stop criticizing everyone for what they do because I think the people in our government (for the most part) are doing the best they can for the person that they are.  There is no way I could do their job…I can’t imagine waking up every morning to people talking trash about me all the time.  I can’t imagine that is good on a person’s self esteem.   I am not saying I like how our provincial government is treating us, but I will not talk trash about them personally and when it comes time to vote, I hope I will vote for what works for me.  Do people not realize that we are all different and what works for one person doesn’t work for another…it is all about tolerance and I wish there was more of it around.  I just think as Canadians, we do a little better job of it and my hope would that we can move to California and show my American neighbours how it is done LOL.

5.  I need to focus on the positives…we live as close as we can get to the US without moving there.  We have the benefits of being a Canadian, but able to save some money by shopping in the US for the things that are cheaper there.  We live close to airports that allow us to visit Southern California for cheap.  We live in a very beautiful part of Canada and we should be very grateful for that.  Even though it rains a lot here, we have beautiful green scenery because of that rain. 

Dreams…I will hold on to the ones I have and hopefully they will all come true, but if they don’t, that is a part of life.   So many of our dreams have come true so really, what do we have to complain about…we need to appreciate what we have and not always focus on what we don’t have.  I have had a hard week with the finances, so I think that is what is bringing up these emotions…but I think it will start getting a little better soon with the new job I got and hopefully Doug will find something too.  We pray for guidance and I hope we follow where God leads us because I do know we try very hard to be aware of what God wants us to do. 

If we can’t move to California, I think the Sunshine Coast might be a goal for us at some point.  But it has to be where God wants us and not where we want to be.  I do believe that God gives us the dreams in our hearts though, so I think we will be ok.   Things don’t happen overnight, so we have to be patient and live for today…stop worrying about tomorrow.  Today we will enjoy our yard that has some newly planted trees.  Today we will enjoy a car that we can use for star gazing because the roof goes down.  Today we will enjoy our home because it is cozy and has our stuff in it.  Today we will enjoy my parents because they live close by and are fun to be around.  Today we will enjoy our friends that live here.  Today we will book vacations for tomorrow

The summer is over half over which really isn’t an issue for us since we usually don’t do much for the summer anyway.  Our vacation’s usually happen during the quiet times of the year when kids are in school.  We are looking forward to our short trip to California next month.  Only 5 nights away, but at least it is something and we get to see our favourite state.  We finally managed to get the hot tub up and running which is really nice.  Even though it is hot outside right now, it is still nice to sit in our hot tub.  We really missed it and it makes this place feel like home finally.  We did help out our landlords by making the front yard look a little less like a rental, and so we tore down the front fence and replaced them with pyramid cedar’s.  It was a lot of work, but I think it was worth it.  Now we can sit in our front yard and be proud of what it looks like.  We posted pictures of the process on facebook.  We had a lot of help from my family which is nice.  Even though we live in a rental place, we all still treat it as our own.  We used to own a house, so I guess we just appreciate our living situation.  Doug had a good interview at KalTire and he is waiting for a second interview.  I had a second interview at a bookkeeping job that could give me some decent hours, so this next week might bring us some much needed good news in our job situation.  Thankfully Doug enjoys his job at London Drugs, so if he has to stay there for now, that is fine too. 

This last few weeks has brought a lot of controversy regarding the whole gay marriage thing.  I guess I just don’t get it, what does it matter who gets married?  If two people of the same sex want to get married, how does that effect us?  I think people just don’t like change…I don’t get it though, we spend the first 18 years of our live going through oodles of change, so why are we so against it when we become adults?  I wonder how society took to the change of allowing divorce as easily as it is today?  How about black people being able to eat in the same restaurant as whites?  I recall there being a lot of uproar about that particular change.  Or even women having the right to vote…so much change, but in the end it was for the better.  So I guess all my gay friends just have to wait it out a few more years and then the rest of the modern world will adjust to this bit of change too.  I am grateful though that people stand up for their rights to live the same way as everyone else though.  I believe that we all have the right to live the way we want too and as a Christian, should we not be even more tolerable of change and the differences in people?    

I know that my views have changed as I have gotten older.  I am way less judgemental of people.  We all have our own life stories and this shapes who we are and we have to live within those parameters because that is all we know.  If God chooses to change someone’s heart then that is up to God and them and we have to right to butt into their lives.  Doug and I learned that early on in our married life…we tried to do things the “church” way and in the end Doug had a stroke we realized that we should have left well enough alone.   As Christians we need to be way more tolerable of each other.  We need to support people in who they are and just allow God to work in people’s lives the way he wants it to happen, not the way the “church” thinks it should happen.  I am grateful for my relationship with God/Jesus and I will always cherish my friendship with him.   I guess my walk is going to be different than other’s so I can’t judge others either when it comes to how they judge LOL.   I think this type of thinking makes it very hard to find “Christian” friends, which I really do miss, but I guess no Christian friends is better than judgemental Christian friends who think we are less of a person because we don’t go to church or don’t believe the way the mainstream “Christians” think.   We are grateful for my parents who do understand what we are going through in this matter… it seems they went through the same thing at our age with their age group.  Who knew this was hereditary LOL.  This is where we are glad we didn’t have kids though…who wants that for their kids?  Who wants for their kids to learn how disappointing the “church family” can be when you are taught all your life that they are the ones that should support you… I guess that is yet another part of life that changes… learning about the sin in this world.  I am not perfect (yes, I am admitting that), and I plan on learning for the rest of my life. 

I want to live my life with my eyes wide open, to be accepting of people no matter what and to allow God to guide me in all areas of my life.   I want to be accepting of change and how that will enhance our lives.  So much has changed in our lives from when we first got married 24 years ago… some things were not for the best, but some things God has turned into positive things even though it wasn’t supposed to go that way in the first place.    God blesses us no matter where we are and that is what I look towards… I want all of his blessings that he can pour on us… that is what I wish for.

I am on season 5 of Grey’s Anatomy.  I started at season 2 a few months ago and have gone through the seasons quickly.  I need it to keep my mind off things right now and it seems to be working.  Today I am a little more at peace about how in shambles our finances are.  We can’t change it right now, so it is what it is.  If someone phones wanting money, there is nothing we can do about it right now… wait in line like everyone else.  This too shall pass and someday the light will be brighter at the end of our tunnel.  I can’t believe all the things we have gone through in our lives, but honestly, for the most part, in spite of all the crap, we have enjoyed so much.  I don’t believe God is at fault for any of the crap though…it is life and it is part of living in a world of sin.  God/Jesus is the reason we can survive it though…because I know there is more fun than there is crap.  I can’t say that for the people on Grey’s Anatomy though… I think they have covered all the crap in one’s life in just 4 seasons.  Must suck to be them… good thing it isn’t real HEE HEE HEE  I also don’t believe God allows this to happen us just to make us stronger… but if you choose to believe that, then so be it, I am ok with that too.  Who really cares what we believe when it comes to “crap” in our lives… the main thing we give God/Jesus credit for allowing us to manage through it all.  When we get to heaven all this won’t matter and we will just enjoy God’s glory and all the crap will be forgotten.

One thing about watching a show like this does though is reaffirm that one must live for today.  You never know when death knocks on your door and if it is your time, then it is your time.  I want to live a life with no regrets and living for today is how I choose to live it.   I am grateful that so far, we still have each other… i have watched many an episode where a loved one is lost to death and how heart wrenching that is.  I especially get teary (ok blubbery) when it is an old couple that have been married for over 50 years… how does one go on when you loose the love of your life after so many years… but you do and that is life.  Death on this earthly form is a part of our life… sucks though… not looking forward to it, so I am hoping I will have peace when it happens.  I do know a little about that peaceful feeling though… let me tell you a story (some have heard this story before)…

It was about 15 years ago and after a stressful episode of ER, Doug decided to have a stroke.  On Valentines Day we spent our early morning wondering what was wrong with him.  The doctor’s had no idea what was wrong with Doug.  He went numb on one side, and couldn’t talk properly and he kept throwing up.  I called my parents at about 2 in the morning and they showed up for support, but eventually went home because we didn’t know what was wrong.  I sat at his bedside for the next few hours holding the barf bucket.  We didn’t know it was a stroke at this point, so your mind goes everywhere thinking about what is wrong.  You have to remember I was about 25 years old at the time.  I remember thinking that Doug was going to die and I remember thinking how at peace I was about it.  That is truly only God that gives a person peace like that.  By around 9ish a neurologist had come and gone and implied what had happened.  Then our family doctor came into the ER and I remember that look on his face when he first saw Doug… it was a look of disbelief on what was going on (Dr. Bartel is also my uncle).  I will never forget that look and the love he showed to me when I broke down and cried on his shoulder.  I think it was at that point I started realizing that maybe things will start to look up soon and that I wasn’t going to loose the love of my life. 

Unlike Grey’s Anatomy, life is not a tv show where things move quickly and you can write a happy ending (or sad ending depending on the episode).  Life is what it is and we have to muddle through it no matter what.  Economies drop through the floor and we loose everything, wrong decisions in finances can’t always be written away and we can’t always skip all the bad stuff and get too the good stuff.   We have been married 24 years…and I am only 42 so God willing (or life willing), we plan on being married for many many more years.  I think right now is one of our hardest times as a couple though… we support each other and life each other up, but I think there is so much in our heads that we don’t talk about out loud.  I think saying it makes it all seem so much more real and right now we have enough reality that we just can’t handle any more.   I watch my tv shows to escape reality and Doug plays computer games or applies for jobs… but I know that we need to figure out ways to do things together to keep supporting each other in this.   Just sitting outside together is nice, but honestly, too much quiet time together starts a person thinking again… and right now both our minds are running amuck (how does one spell that word LOL).   I know we will get through this and don’t give me the bullshit that we will be stronger because of this (remember I don’t believe that crap), but I do know we are survivors and together with my parents and God, we will come through this with smiles on our faces and vacations booked. 

On that note on vacations, next week we head on a small road trip in our Mustang to Auburn, Washington to take in Creationfest NW to enjoy 4 nights of God worshipping music.  I think the drive down will be a blast (hoping to have wind in our hair and sun on our face) and I think being surrounded by thousands of Christians all worshipping our Protector will be the much needed rest we need.   There will be no smut tv (Grey’s Anatomy) and no other distractions (ok maybe a few computer games), so we can enjoy our time with each other, with my parents and my sister and my nephew.  We are looking forward to this much needed brain rest.   Who knows what fun we can find along the way… a stop at Cabella’s is probably in order, a visit with our landlords, and grocery shopping at the Bellingham Costco (and a yummy ice cream bar)… what more does one need in life?  I think we are blessed… look at the positive in life and don’t dwell on the negative.  Thank you God that you take care of us and that we aren’t an episode on Grey’s Anatomy.

I am currently writing this blog sitting in the leather chair at our front window.  The laptop is appropriately in my… lap.  I love having a front window that looks out onto the street.  I missed that.  Our new place is great and we are loving it here.  The people downstairs are a little… well… young, so that is an adjusting situation with that.  Considering we managed a condo complex full of these kids, I think we can handle 2 of them.  Minnie is sitting in her favourite spot on a Coca Cola bean bag chair in the spare room.  She loves lying there and looking out the window and watching the birds.  Doug is playing a video game called Mass Effect.  This is what we do for excitement on a friday night.  Considering Doug is usually working on a friday night, I am quite happy about the evening off.  Two cars just drove by… I love my front window that looks out into the world.

We decided to cancel our Caribbean cruise for next January and book 6 nights at Disney World at our timeshare at Animal Kingdom.  Then we will do a 3 night Bahamas cruise on the Disney Dream.  Yup, exciting times are ahead.   We also have our California trip to look forward to this September.  We sure are enjoying our Disney timeshare.  

Couple of thoughts in my head these days…

I sure find that I “grow” up as I get older.  I know that I have never considered the “gay” relationship much of an issue, but I do know that I used to think of it as a sin.   So my saying was that all sin is the same in God’s eyes… lying, gossiping, being gay… it was all the same and regardless of the sin, we are still accepted by God.  So I have never discriminated against gay’s, but I did think it was a sin.  That thinking process began to change about 10ish years ago when I met my friends Gail and Jill.  They were a gay couple that we cruised with.  We have never connected with 2 people like we connected with them.   All 6 of us got along so well (my parents included) and we did so much talking about life with them.  We are still friends with Gail and her new wife Sheri.  It is amazing how one changes their point of view when you sit down and talk to people about their life.  It was then that we started to look at being gay as just another lifestyle.  I don’t see it as a sin anymore.  If two people are committed to each other, then why do I have the right to say anything about it.  I believe in marriage, or being committed to each other.   I don’t think it matters if you are gay, or straight.    I guess being a Christian means I should consider being gay a sin, but I am hoping that God/Jesus is ok if I don’t consider it that way.  I will discuss that with them when I get to heaven and we can hash it out then.  I think some of these odd views is probably why we don’t go to church anymore.  I don’t like how people look down on gay’s.  Granted I hate how people in church are so good at judging others so easily.    We have no right to judge others… we are all sinners and personally, we should just keep our mouth shut, live our life as a Christian as we see fit and leave other’s live their life as a Christian how they see fit.  God/Jesus knows how to talk to his people and if he sees ways that they need correcting, then he will deal with it. 

Another thought in my head….

I have been listening to the Christian radio station and some of the songs kind of bug me.  They talk about how God does things to us to make us closer to him.  Now, that is a concept that I have a bit of trouble with.  God sends his son Jesus to earth… he dies on the cross for us (our sins) so that we can be spotless in front of God… then ignores all this and causes us pain?  Really?  Who buys into this stuff?  Honestly…the truth is that living on this earth is awful.  It is filled with sin and there is no way around it.    Jesus died for us and our sins… he made us clean in front of God, so why would God be causing us pain if we are spotless?   Yes we sin, but we are also forgiven.  Things happen to us because LIFE SUCKS!!!  God/Jesus takes care of us so that we can manage through it.  That is the promise.  I will not think that God/Jesus does things to us so we can be closer to him.   What a great relationship that would be… I wonder how that would work as a husband/wife, wife/wife, husband/husband relationship.   Now, my relationship with Jesus might be a little unique… I feel that I have been a Christian all my life and my first thoughts that I can remember where about my faith in Jesus.  So maybe I don’t understand that concept of needing negativity in ones life to become more positive.  I am ok with not needing that though.  I am fine with knowing that my Jesus died for me and that he takes care of me.  It is living in a world of sin that makes the bad things happen.  It is Jesus that gives me the peace to not kill myself over it.  My relationship with Jesus is amazing… not because of the crap he has done to me, but because I know that he is the reason I am surviving this life and even enjoying parts of it (Mickey Mouse).  I don’t need crap to know that Jesus takes care of me.   Maybe we need to be reminded on why we were created (without sin).  I strive to be that person that he created.  God/Jesus created me so I can be with him in the garden… that garden disappeared when sin came into this world, but I don’t think the original reason disappeared with it.  So my life is surrounded by his creation… by his love… and I will talk to him all the time, appreciate what he has done for me, ask for help when I need it, ask for forgiveness when I sin, thank him for everything he has done and just be what he wants me to be.  We all have different purposes in life and I hope to fulfill his purpose.  I go where he wants me to go and if God/Jesus sees fit to send me to church, then I will embrace it with open arms.  Right now our bible study group is enough.

On the note of our bible study group… we have two couples having babies.   Seems so weird to me to be starting this again.  I remember about 20 years ago when our friends then where just having babies and now we are doing it again.  I think it help us keep feeling young (here is hoping). 

Our life is good…yes there is crap going on in our lives, but that is just a part of living in a world of sin.  We will look beyond the crap and see the good in the other aspects of our lives. 
Here is to heaven looking like a Disney theme park (my words of wisdom for the day LOL)

Doug and I were married in 1988 (yes we are coming up to 24 years of marriage) and since then have had a number of homes.  Each with interesting stories and how they came about to be in our lives.  We owned a house in Chilliwack in the mid 90’s and really enjoyed the house but no so much the half acre of yard maintenance.  Due to some illnesses and stupid decisions, we sold the place at a loss and owe my parents far too much money.  So let’s not dwell on the negative because I still can’t talk about all that yet… still sits heavy on my heart.  Let’s start with when we moved to Surrey in 1997…

Our first place here was a basement suite.  We went from a full house to ourselves, to living in a basement.  The landlords where nice and it actually went pretty good for the most part… we had a nice pink spare bedroom which my poor nephew had to sleep in every so often.  We parted from that place on bad terms with our landlords (no real idea why though) and moved to one of our most unique place as of yet.  Here our landlord Dee was an older lady who had family that walked all over her.  We lived in the bottom part of the duplex below her.   We would have her over for dinner and get her to join us in a few family events.  She was a very unique lady and we tried very hard to help her out whenever we could.  She had no money to fix the place up, so we landed up doing a lot of stuff.  We totally redid the bathroom when Doug fell through the outside wall (not completely through, but just about).  We also had to redo a part of the floor because it turns out the wood had cat pee on it and the only way to get rid of the smell was pull the floor out.  It was a weird lay out but turned out to be very useful when our ever so young cousin Naomi came to live with us.  This was a start of a long and wonderful friendship with the Barg side of our family.  We loved this place and if it wasn’t for one of Dee’s tenants coming to our door step drunk and threatening us, we would not have moved.

Our next place was with Andy… and this house had an amazing view of the fraser river and we could even see the fireworks in New West.  We loved this place… great view, nice yard and nicely renovated inside.  Andy was also the owner of a car lot at the time, and he got us our Tercel at cost.  He knew our credit wasn’t that great (Doug had to go bankrupt due to illness) but still gave us a loan.  He has since helped us get our next two cars since then… yup he is the reason we have the Mustang.  We landed up moving because the downstairs people refused to stop smoking in the house and so we had to move because the smell would come through the vents.  Our next place was short lived though as when we moved we were told the landlord wouldn’t sell and tear down the house… turns out he lied and 9 months later we were moving again.  Oh the joy.   Eventually we landed up moving to the Whalley area of Surrey.  We loved being so close to the skytrain, but eventually we got tired of the crime and all the crap going on there and so we decided to move up in the world… we moved to WHITE ROCK/S. SURREY

So here begins our adventure in the beautiful oceanside town which we love so much.  We landed up being in a few places while being here for the last 6 years due to landlords wanting to have their place back, paying too much in rent, ect.   We love living here and love the environment.  It is a much more layed back lifestyle than the main city of Surrey.   Our last place was right on the beach… this was our dream life… a condo on the beach and a convertible Mustang… really what more does a person need?  Then a bunch of this came crashing down early this year when Doug lost his good paying job, was unemployed for 2 months and now works part-time at minimum wage.  It was time to move somewhere cheaper.  We thought we would have to live in some basement suite back in the main city of Surrey… we were not looking forward to this, but God had other plans…

Ocean Park…what a cute little area in South Surrey (borders White Rock).  I saw this ad in Craigslist for a top floor of a fourplex… it was in our price range, but they didn’t allow pets.  I was told by a friend to ask anyway, so I emailed and said what a good cat Minnie was and if they would reconsider the pet policy.  After meeting us, they reconsidered… how amazing is God right?  We always have believed the right people will come into our lives without us having to force things.  Our landlords really liked us and even reduced the rent if we were ok with the old carpeting.  We were game and so on May 12, 2012 our new adventure began away from our beach hut in White Rock.  It was really hard to leave the area (which is only 7 minutes away) but we knew we had to do this to get our finances in order again.  

We are all moved in now… everything is where it is supposed to be and it actually feels like we have been here forever.  It is so nice that God gives us peace even when the world feels like it is trying to push us under.   I keep telling people this place is cozy (not in a small way), but in a warm blanket around a person way.  Maybe it was all the prayers of our friends, or just that God has given us such peace about this decision, but it feels cozy… we love it here and we are still close to Crescent Beach (only a 15 min walk and 190 steps down).    We still have our Mustang and we will be setting up the hot tub soon.  Life can change in a moments notice and we learned many years ago (when Doug had his stroke) that never take it all for granted.  Enjoy today and all the little things.  We have loved every place we have lived in and have made it our own even if it was a dump.   God expects us to take pride in the little things and the things we have… we have to take care of it and he will bless us with better.  Even if it doesn’t seem better, he gives us peace to make us think it is better.    We have been blessed with great landlords for a number of our places we have rented and that should never be taken for granted.   Thanks goes out to all those landlords that treat their tenants with respect!

So here we are… starting our new adventure in Ocean Park… I am looking forward to seeing how this part of our life pans out.   I still see ourselves in California someday, but who knows…we don’t know the future.  God will take care of no matter where we are and right now I am so grateful that he is taking care of us in a cute little suburb called Ocean Park in Surrey.  We are blessed and God is great!!  By the way, we had our first gathering at our place yesterday (that didn’t involve any moving) with our bible study group.  It felt to so good to be able to have people over and have such pride for our wonderful new home.  

It is coming up to Easter again… seems to happen every year.  I am not so commercial about Easter as I am about Christmas.  I love all the lights and stuff with Christmas, but Easter is just a normal holiday that people celebrate whether it is the rabbit version or the Saviour dying on the cross version.

We try to celebrate what Jesus did for us every day of the year, not just the one day.   You have to admit there is no other “God” that I can think of that actually died for his people and forgave all their sins.   We don’t have to do pennants, make sacrifices, jump hoops, pray to Virgins, follow a huge list of rules, etc to get that forgiveness… all we have to do is pray to the one who forgives us and that’s it… nothing more… those sins are erased from time and we are good to go.  Obviously there is usually more to our walk with Jesus, but that is choice and everyone has their own way to walking with him.    Really, our list of rules are only two things… Love the Lord you God with all your heart and Love your neighour… seems to be a lot about Love when it comes to following God/Jesus.  I think the rest of our “rules” come without having to think about it much. 

I love that Jesus died for us… he made the ultimate sacrifice for his people (what other “God” can say that).   I don’t have to live in guilt for the things I do because once I am forgiven, then it is erased.  You do have to ask for forgiveness… it just doesn’t come on it’s own.  Also you have to forgive… all pretty basic things to follow in our walk with Jesus.    God sent Jesus down to earth so that he could experience all the things we have to experience.  It makes Jesus more like us I think.   What separates him from us though is his death and the fact that he rose again… so very different than any other “God” out there.   I think it makes our God/Jesus way more accessible because there really isn’t a lot of things you have to do to follow him.   So many religions out there require so much for that religion and our God/Jesus just requires us to follow him, love him, and others, and ask for forgiveness when we do wrong… how complicated is that? 

Our example in life should be Jesus… he came down on earth so that we can use him as an example.    I love that he was a rebel… he did things his way because he knew it was right.  I love that he was so caring for everyone, and I love that he was perfect and that he died for our sins.   Easter is just a remembrance of what he did, but we should be living that life every day.  Always remember the sacrifice he made for us, but also remember how much he loves us and how we should be living a life without guilt.  I go by this motto… we are perfect in between sins. 

Doug and I are doing ok… not quite managing to pay all the bills yet, but here is hoping that will happen soon.  We have to keep having faith that God/Jesus will bring us through this time and there will be light above us soon and not just a light at the end of the tunnel.   I honestly don’t know how people get through life without God/Jesus.  It is so comforting to know that I am loved by Jesus no matter what.   I know life won’t be easy, but I know we are comforted and loved.  I don’t have to worry about the stupid sins I do because I am forgiven and they are erased once I ask for forgiveness.  I love my friendship with Jesus and we are blessed to have that.   I love my simple faith and as I read books and see conversations on facebook, I am grateful for my simple faith because I think people make Jesus way more complicated than what he really is.  Our walk in Christ is simple… filled with lots of love and forgiveness… I don’t need any more than that.

Happy Easter to everyone… may the bunny rabbit be good to you and may he/she cluck out yummy sugar free chocolates.  For those who believe in Jesus… do not forget what he did for us all year round.

We were at church Saturday night and the speaker spoke about struggling which was a very good topic for us currently.  Then he want to read out of Judges 6 & 7 about Gideon and his plight.  It was a good topic, but I think I would have preferred other references of how God helps us through struggles, especially in the New Testament.  Here is why…

I personally find the Old Testament depressing.  There is so much hurt, destruction, multiple wives, ect.  I am not saying it isn’t important because it is our foundation that our Christianity is based on.  It is our history so we can’t ignore it… but I still tend to find it overly depressing.  I think it is because they had no Hope, like we have.  We have Jesus who died on the cross and forgave our sins (no matter the sin).   We don’t have to give sacrifices for our sins… all we have to do is pray for forgiveness and it is given to us because of Jesus. 

I landed up reading ahead a bit and read about Ruth… she was kinda cool and I do like that story.  We read these stories and just look at them as stories, but they actually happened… these people we read about when through all of this.  I can’t even imagine Joseph and all the things he had to go through… makes me appreciate my life… granted we have hope, no matter what we can pray to Jesus and there is peace.

It has been a rough few days.  Yesterday I fluctuated between happy and depressed, which is annoying in one hand, but good for my food intake because when I get stressed, I stop eating.  Hopefully I loose a few pounds during all this LOL.  It has hard to see what will happen when rent is due in just over a week.  What are we going to do?  What about the other bills that are just starting to pile up a bit (nothing to major yet).  I try to not think about it, but when it is quiet and there is nothing occupying my mind… that is where it goes.  It is why I am watching lots of tv currently (and applying for lots of jobs).   I keep praying and I know we are blessed to have HOPE… we know that God/Jesus will take care of us and that something will work out.  We both will find the jobs we need to find and we can settle down into a routine again.

Tomorrow I get to do some bookkeeping for a client, so at least that will keep my mind occupied for awhile.  There is nothing like being surrounded by numbers to ease one’s mind.  My stomach is in knots a lot these days and I hope that goes away soon.  It makes enjoying food a little tough LOL.  I have to keep praying and looking to God… it is what I keep saying to myself over and over again.  I am grateful for worship music, that is for sure.  Not sure how I would survive without that.

So here is to another day tomorrow and I am praying that things work out and that God/Jesus will give us peace and we are grateful for our Hope that we have.