Today I had a very angry episode. I got an amazing gift from one of my clients (Blackberry Playbook) and it wouldn’t work properly and so I actually considered throwing it out the window because I was so angry with it. Thankfully I know how to think forward and know that this too shall pass. It did pass…i tossed it into the trunk and left it alone for now. I personally don’t think it likes me because now I am trying to make it work with my computer and it isn’t working either…it was a gift, so I have to keep it, but honestly, I think I would return it if it was something I had bought myself. No electronics is this amount of trouble. I know Doug would make me keep it though and try to make it work, so I guess once he gets home, he can work on the little beast. Ultimately it isn’t the playbook that is the problem, it is the fact that something so insignificant has made me so angry. It is how I feel right now…plain old angry.
We are having a rough go of it…we have made a pact that if one of us wants to take our life, we have to discuss it with the other and make sure we do it together LOL. Yup, these are thoughts in our head right now…why is it worth living? If life is going to be this hard, is there purpose? So this is what brings on this blog post today…
As a a believer in Christ, we have hope. We know that in the end, we will be in heaven, but why not go there now? Why go through all this crap in life when our end purpose is heaven? Honestly, no idea, other than we are promised that we will be taken care of. It is hard to look at the future when our present is clouding everything. So the purpose of this blog is to look at the future and all that it could hold…
1. Vacations, vacations, vacations…there is no Disneyworld/Disneyland in heaven, so I have to explore every inch of it here on earth
2. My Mustang is not in heaven, and it would miss us, so we need to stay here for awhile and enjoy all it has to offer to us
3. Family time…we love spending time with my parents, and I am fairly certain they would miss us, so we will stick around for a little longer
4. California…we could miss out on the opportunity of moving there when Canada finally acquires it in the negotiations, which I am told are going on as we speak (yes I am the president of these negotiations LOL)
5. ???
I have posted below a song that we hold onto right now…granted any worship songs are much needed right now as I really don’t think we could make it without them. I play them very loudly in the car while crying. Faith is what helps us through this. It is our faith in Jesus that he will be right beside us through it all, holding our hands. He is my best friend, and best friends don’t leave us right? Jesus died for us…he gave up his life so that we can live on this earth with a clean slate, so I guess I can muster all my strength and survive this because even all this is nothing compared to what he had to endure. Jesus just isn’t some story…he was real, there were people who actually got to touch him, so with that knowledge, I will keep looking to him for peace. If he can manage here, so can I because he is standing beside me crying right along with me. Thank you Jesus for that!!
So on that note, here is the song by Kutless called “What Faith Can Do” … I am also holding out for that miracle because right now we both hate Doug’s job. They haven’t been treating him very well and considering all he makes is minimum wage, it just seem worth it. So I am calling out to God for that Miracle for Doug’s job…I want to “see a miracle just happen”. If we call out on it, hopefully it will come true.
“What Faith Can Do”
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That is a lovely song.
I don't know what is going on right now. I had a moment of feeling as down as you a couple of weeks ago, and am slowly pulling out of it. A friend was so down last night she ended up calling 911 because she was suicidal. What is going on in this world?? It is really a recession or are we truly in a great depression that no one wants to admit. Is the way our environmental pollusions effect us? Lack of a true sense of community perhaps? So many people around us are struggling. I think what we have to do is do our best to pull together. Together we can do this. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. (HUG) Alicia