California for Stefani

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself

A song came across the radio today called “I believe” and it talks about all the things we believe about our God and Jesus.  It got me thinking about how we listen to these words and as a Christian, we know they are truth…but what about those people who don’t know about our God, or have only heard the truth about their God.  What makes our truth worth more than their truth about God.   My answer is the commandment above by Jesus.  Our God is about love and not hate, not crying, not pain, not hurt, not sorrow…all those are the world…and God’s love helps us survive the crap that this world throws us.   

But then you go to church and hear all the untruths that are thrown at us and all we are taught is what we should believe and what we shouldn’t do.  If we truly love God, we don’t need someone to tell us what to do, we will figure it out on our own as we ask God/Jesus to show us the way.  I see so much hate being flung around in this world right now by those who should be flinging love instead.  We preach that our God is a better God than others…but many don’t practice what is being preached.  Love does not include calling others names, no matter their sexual preference or who they choose to love.  Love does not call others filled with Satan because they misbehave in church or don’t sit still.  Love does not tell us that we have to believe in the Trinity just because someone came up with an idea that we all should believe.  Love does not say we have to be afraid of God.   Love does not say that “we are only given what we can handle”…because that just would mean some people can handle more crap than others and if they choose to not handle it anymore, they aren’t worthy of love.  Love does not say how we should dress or how we shouldn’t have tattoo’s. 

If we are to prove that our God is the one to believe, we need to prove that he is worth following and there is no place in that belief for hate…none.   We are all a creation of God and to me that says something.  Jesus is the son of God, and he came down on this earth to walk the walk, and do lots of talking.  He showed us that as a human, we can follow God.  He loved everyone and did everything with love.   Jesus showed us how to love and we need to follow that example.  He beat to his own drum (well…he beat to God’s drum) and he did things differently than the world thought he should do things.  So why can’t we use his example and do things differently.    I want people to see me and know that the God I believe in is worth following.   That he sent his son because he loved us so much. 

Now as I read that commandment, it get’s me thinking…maybe the reason we can’t show love as well as we should is because we don’t love ourselves.  The key to all this that we can’t love others if we don’t love ourselves.  I LOVE being unique.  Sure it has caused a lot of loneliness in my life because other humans on this earth think being unique in the Christian world needs to be fixed, but I use Jesus as an example and he was very unique.   I love who I am because I truly feel that God has made me exactly how he wants me…he whispers the thoughts that I have in my ears…he tells me that being unique is ok and to voice what I believe in.   Love does not judge…only God will do that once we stand at Heaven’s gate and we have no right to be that judge.  I don’t know God’s mind and how he will be with each person and really, who cares.  If there is no sin in Heaven, then what does it matter if everyone goes there.  Maybe the murders of this world will have their soul cleansed as they die and can still enter Heaven…what is so wrong with that?  I don’t know and I really don’t care.  I will let God be the judge and jury for that part of the afterlife.  I want to focus on LOVE and how Jesus is that love for us…he is our example.  I think more people need to worry about their own actions instead of focusing on the actions of others. 

The first week of July is always filled with our countries birthday’s.  I consider both the US and Canada my country.  Sure I was born in Canada and this is where I live, but I spend a lot of time in the US and our heart is in California, so we consider the US our country too. 

We were at a party on July 1st and they have a flag pole in their yard so in the evening they “raised” the Canadian flag and then sang “Oh Canada”.  I couldn’t do it…and I had to think on why that was.  Not because I am not proud of being a Canadian (granted I was wearing my Mickey Mouse tank with the US flag on it)…but because I couldn’t stand there “praising” my country like that.  Why though???

I love living in Canada and I would equally love living in the US, but either way, I don’t think I could stand at the flag and “worship” it the way people want me to.  I think that is why I can’t do it, it seemed like it was being “worshiped”.   The only God I worship is well…Jesus…and he is the only one I will stand like that for.  Sure I was born in this country and I am proud to be a Canadian (sort of), but it is Jesus/God who I worship and it is because of him that I can live so proudly and faithfully.  This country offers me opportunity (and so would the US if they would let me in), but it is Jesus/God that offers me my soul, which is so much more important.  No matter what country I live in (Canada or the US), my soul is the most important because that is who I am and what moulds me. 

For those people who enjoy standing around the flag and singing the national anthem, there is nothing wrong with that either…it just isn’t for me.  I totally felt so uncomfortable with it, that I knew I had to figure out why it bugged me.  Not sure if my explanation cleared anything up for others, but I think it helped me understand myself a little better.  We are all different and that is the great thing about living in our two countries, the freedoms we do have. 

Monday, we tendered at Icy Straight Point.  We have never been to this port and from what my parents said, it has changed a lot since the last time they went.  There is a Cannery museum and now there is lots of shops and the worlds longest zipline.  For only $139 you can ride this zipline (and go broke if you ask me).  It did look like fun though and if money was no object, I might consider it. 

Doug had some allergy issues at the beginning of the cruise and that caused his immune system to shut down a bit, so he is currently in bed because he caught a cold.  He has bought some meds so hopefully they help and he can sleep properly tonight.   If he sleeps well, then I sleep well because I don’t do well if someone is snoring in my ear.  So for he isn’t being too much of a man baby about it though…it is only a cold…beats getting the norwalk virus (which we have gotten on a cruise before).

We are having a great time so far.   Our waiter is great.  He has been doing this for 15 years and has a 9 year old daughter and a 15 month old son.  He works for 6 months and then get’s 10 weeks off…not my idea of a great life, but you do what you need to do to provide for your family.   We haven’t really seen much of our cabin steward, but he is doing a good job…our room get’s made up twice a day.  Food has been great.  Breakfast is usually started with waffles (they are tiny) and then once my parents show up, then I have eggs benny.  Lunch is whatever we feel in the mood for…sandwhiches, pizza, salad, etc.  We are enjoying dinner…usually takes about 1 1/2 hours to get through all of dinner, but that is the fun of the it.   Doug has had frog legs and cavier already.  I stick to the normal things though…I am not overly adventurous when it comes to meat products.  I did have veal yesterday though…that was yummy.  We also share the vegetarian dish and so far every night has been very tasty.  My dad has been keeping an eye on what we all order because they cruise back and will have the same menu, so he wants to try different things.

I am missing Minnie.  Our Minniesitter works nights and sleeps during the day and so I am gathering our fur baby is having some issues with that.  Hopefully they figure out a schedule that works because usually Minnie is pretty good at adjusting.  My guess is when we come home, we will be yelled at by her for at least 2 – 3 hours…hopefully we survive the tongue lashing LOL.

Juneau was fun…we originally were going to do the tram but decided against it…too many people squished into the tram for my liking.  At $32/person, I think we can use our money somewhere else nicely.  We went out, did a bit of shopping and found the wifi at the library.  We did some facebooking, emailing and then wandered back slowly to the ship.  My best buy of the day was at the Del Sol store (color changing clothing)…they had a Disney section, so of course I bought myself a color changing Disney shirt…best souvenir if you ask me.  Once back on board, we had lunch and then headed to the pool for a dip.  Boy the ship is empty…everyone is out in port.  Soon we will be heading to the theatre to watch Saving Mr. Banks.  We are also seeing a Cirque style show tonight…all and all, a great day.

We boarded the ship on Friday, May 23rd in record time.  We got to the port at around 10am and we managed to get through security just before 11 and where on board by 11:30 eating lunch.  We would have been on earlier but for some reason the computer decided to change our booking so that Doug wasn’t on it and I was in the room twice…took a bit to get it fixed and I really don’t think it got fixed…they just gave us our room keys and told us to board…so far we both seem to exists on board LOL.   We did the lifeboat drill at 3:45 and we were sailing by 5, which was a little late, but we didn’t care.  When we went to the dining room, we found out where we will be sitting for the next 7 days…I must have pissed someone off because we are in one of the worst spots in the dining room…granted I think we have the best server we have ever had, so I guess we will live with it.  I am hoping they will put mom and dad in a nicer spot for the cruise going back to Vancouver.  We have already asked for that.

Day 2 was a day at sea and we really enjoyed it.  Was hard to find time for all the relaxing we did HA HA HA!!!  It was our formal night so we all dressed up for dinner.  I posted pictures already on facebook, so I won’t add them to this blog.   We honestly didn’t do a lot except for relax on the pool deck.  I get up at 7am…then Doug wanders down around 7:45 and about then I phone mom and dad and give them a wake up call…then they wander down around 8:30 and we have breakfast together.   This cruise has lots and lots of older people…not a lot of young ones like us, but still fun.   They tend to complain about things more than others, guess you get cranky as you get older LOL.

Today we are in Ketchikan…we started the day with breakfast, then we headed off the ship for an hour or so to walk around.  Then we got back on board for a free wine tasting…fun stuff.  We had lunch and then mom and dad went back out to do some shopping.  I did buy myself a pair of earings, but that will probably be it.  We have a very strict budget for this trip, so we are limiting ourselves from a lot of shopping. 

We are having a great time so far.  Sure it has rained a bit, but we don’t care.  I am currently typing this outside on the back of the ship…if it rains, I have some covering.  Doug and I are still in shorts most of the time.  In the evenings on the outside decks it gets cold and then I think I should put pants on, but so far I am resisting LOL.

It has been so nice to not worry about a place to rent…I am so grateful we can do this cruise without the stress of that worry.  

Here are a few more pictures of the last few days. 

9 years ago we moved from the Whalley area of Surrey to White Rock.  We moved because Doug got a job in White Rock and we have never believed that long commutes are in our life style.  Last month Doug got a job offer at a school in Downtown Vancouver.  Obviously we would love to move to downtown Vancouver, but that just isn’t possible on our budget, but we could move closer to the Skytrain, which is back to the Whalley area.   So I think after 9 beautiful years here in the White Rock/South Surrey area, we are looking at moving back to the City Central of Surrey.  Back to living among throngs of people, high rises and restaurants at every corner. 

It has been a great ride here…our first place was a cute townhouse across the road from the ocean.  Louie loved living there.  We could walk a short distance and we were at the beach.  He lived for the water and I think that was his favourite place that we lived in.  We have some great memories there with Louie.   I think we would have stayed there longer if our landlord hadn’t wanted to move back into her house…and she didn’t think it was big enough for all of us to live in.  Our next few places where nice and we have some great memories in them.  Then we moved into our dream condo, which was really, right across from the water.  We loved that place and it was with great sorrow that we had to move, but sometimes life craps on us and you have to adjust.  We where distraught about moving, but it had to be.  We figured we would have to move into some basement suite, but instead we were blessed with a home that was still walking distance to the beach and we met a great new friend in our landlord, Tracy.    We have loved this place, and the changes we have made here have been incredible.  We took down the worlds ugliest fence and put in trees, and we couldn’t have done it without the help of my family.  They have helped us make this place look beautiful and make us proud to live here.   We have had great support in all this from our landlords.  We even planted our palm tree and it looks great…but I guess it might be time to uproot it and find it a new home…it is actually the hardest part of this decision. 

We also haven’t had much luck with the tenants downstairs either, so it has also been a deciding factor in moving too.   We have been here for 2 years and we have really appreciated being here for those years.  We just about killed the last tenants, but we managed to refrain from murder and they moved LOL.  Considering the luck we are having with the downstairs tenants, we sometimes think it is us…and people turn on us because they don’t like who we are.   But why complain about things you can not change.  We can’t change who they are downstairs and I don’t think it will get any better…so maybe it is time for us to change…our location

We are looking at condo’s…on the small side, but we can put a bunch of our stuff in storage for now and see how we do living in a smaller space, but all newer appliances and kitchen.  Being walking distance to the skytrain would be great for Doug and living in Surrey is still good for me so that I can easily get to my clients.  I wish a condo would let me bring my palm tree along, but something tells me that wouldn’t be allowed on the patio…so hopefully I will find a good home for it because I won’t leave it here…nobody would take care of it. 

Our life is a journey and for the most part of it, we have had fun.  We will find our perfect place to call home and if God sees fit to tell us to stay put for now, he will somehow have to give us deaf ears so we don’t get bothered by them downstairs, and patience to do all the yard work LOL.   I would like a crystal ball to see where we will be by the end of the summer though…so if anyone has one, please share.

Doug went to his first job orientation today…he so enjoyed it and he seems to happy about the new job.  He can’t wait to start on June 3rd.  I got myself another client and so things are looking up that way too.  Here is hoping for great joy and happiness in our future.

Sometimes when driving I have wandering thoughts…so on my way to Bellingham I heard the song by Mercy Me called “I can only Imagine”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII  Yes, death has been on my mind for a little while. It started from a post that a friend of mine posted about the whole thing on facebook about putting up silly status updates to raise awareness about cancer. I agreed with her…how does that make one aware of such a horrible disease? It isn’t as if we haven’t been touched by it somehow. I can’t imagine anyone has gotten away with having nobody in their life with cancer. I am a firm belief of actions…no matter the illness, or the need. I think we all need dinner made for us by someone else. I think we all need that call from a friend that says “wanna do coffee?” I think we all need that hug from a friend that says “we love you”.

Death has touched us all…my first real death that made me sad was my favourite cousin from Germany. He died when I was a teenager. I have had another cousin die (3 days before my wedding). I have had a grandma die at a very young age. Two of my uncles of died (one from MS) which leaves my dad with only 2 sisters and no brothers anymore. I haven’t lost a parent or a sibling and for that I am grateful. I have not felt that gut wrenching sorrow that comes from loosing one of your closest people in your life. I know I have a friend that has dealt with that when she lost her parents and is now dealing with it as her husband has lost his dad.

Death is so permanent and I think that is what I always have troubles with. There is no changing your mind. I know (in my heart), that I will go to a better place where there is no more sorrow, but it is hard to tell your head that. But when I listen to Bart sing “I Can Only Imagine” it does bring a little more peace to me on what it might be like. I do know that God will give me peace when it comes time to deal with such things…I have felt that peace when I thought Doug was dying, so I do know that God is there.

Cancer sucks, but so does every other illness or accident that takes away a loved one from our lives. We need to make sure that the loved ones in our lives know they are loved…tell every day, every hour, every second. It is NEVER enough.

I drove home to a much happier song…Mandesa singing “Overcomer”…a much happier song and one that resonates in me at the moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw&feature=kp

Losing, by 10th Ave North

I can't believe what she said...
I can't believe what he did
Don't they know it's wrong?
Don't they know it's wrong?
Maybe there's something I missed?
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love
This is hate
We all have a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them
They don't know what they've been doing
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losing
It's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times
Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
But I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
Oh Father won't You forgive them
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losing
Why do we think that our hate's going change their heart
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but but just to burn them down
We think our pain is own apologies and then it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound...
Of mercy and Your grace
Father, send Your angels down
Oh Father give me grace to forgive them...
Cause I feel like the one losing

Aren't those great words to live by?  I think of all the things people have said about me in my life time and how we have been treated just because we are different.   Just think of all the things that were done to Jesus in his short life here on earth.   It doesn't even come close to what we have gone through.  He knows our hearts and he comforts us in those times.  We need love and we need to show love, even to those who hate us.   There is far too much hate going on out there (especially the ones that hate in God's name).  The hate doesn't end either, because we retaliate with more hate and it is never ending.  How about we stop the hate and start to love instead.  When we are hated on, maybe we should love them right back.   If we don't forgive, we can't be forgiven.   So Father, give me the grace to forgive them...even the little things that people say (and do) to us...they don't mean it. 

Here is the video